This is a guest post by TampaBayScene’s Jordan Sypek
Sex sells and so have far too many copies of “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
While scrolling down my Facebook new feed, I thought a porno video had gone viral and was being shared by all of my friends. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was actually the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie trailer.
In case you’ve been locked in a basement for the past few days and have no idea what is going on, the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie trailer has officially been released, an event fans of the series have been awaiting for months. Unsurprisingly, there has been an incredible amount of talk about the freaky nature of the movie and how “inappropriate” it is for the big screen.
Give Tinder a break for one day and step out of your comfort zone because your Valentine’s Day date can be found right at the movie theater. They clearly chose the right holiday for its release date — What better way to get in the mood on Valentine’s Day than to watch porn on the big screen? I guess that’s what the producers were thinking. Dirty minds.
Seductive music starts the trailer, which I realized was a strange and creepy version of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love.” We are first introduced to college virgin and aspiring journalist Anastasia Steele, who is about to be corrupted by the sexy Christian Grey, played by Jamie Dornan. (Don’t worry, I’ve never heard of Jamie Dornan either.)
Via: businessinsider.com
Anastasia, who is played by Dakota Johnson, is your typical plain Jane who has no self-confidence and falls for a guy way out of her league. One might think this is going to be a typical “She’s All That” plot line where the nerdy girl dates the guy of her dreams, but this is proven wrong after about two minutes into the trailer when the whips are brought into the mix.
No, not cool-whip. I thought cool-whip on top of chocolate ice cream was the way to any woman’s heart, but times have clearly changed.
Throughout the trailer you see Mr. Grey take Ana out on extravagant dates, one of which involve a helicopter ride. From the outside, he looks like your average gentleman who is possibly trying to get lucky after a handful of romantic and thoughtful nights out, but once you learn about the real Mr. Grey, you realize your perception is oh so wrong.
Via: ibtimes.com
After Mr. Grey explains to Ana that he is not the romance type and that he has a certain type of taste, she says the famous words, “Enlighten me, then.” Boy, does he enlighten her.
Next you see blindfolds, whips, chains and Ana pinned up against the wall of an elevator. If you never understood the full meaning of Rihanna’s song “S & M,” this movie will give you a better understanding of what you were really singing along to.
This will be the most awkward family movie night ever.
Just kidding, we all know you’re not going to mention this flick to your parents, or anyone at all for that matter, because deep down you know you are already trying to pre-order your midnight screening tickets. Which is something about you that people are just better off not knowing.
Featured photo courtesy of: swide.com
