I was sitting at La Tienda on a Sunday with five of my closest friends as we reviewed what we had done the night before. “I just don’t get it, he texted me and told me to come but then he ignored me when I got there” one mused, and we all stopped scanning our menus to deliberate what his actions versus his words had really meant. The rest of the 4:00 dinner was spent swapping stories of our nights, sharing opinions and offering advice. Everything from “did we really walk home last night?” to “ugh I cannot show my face there again” was brought to the table, with all subjects from boys to outfits being touched on at least twice. Taking breaks only for Snapchats and to eat queso, I couldn’t help but laugh to myself as I thought about the odd behaviors us girls assume when we go out. The Mio, the bathroom breaks, the weird drunken Snapchat selfies. The whole confusing culture of it all can get a bit overwhelming, and as I sat there listening to my friends try piece together their nights, I decided that a “brief guide as to why girls do the things they do at parties” would be beneficial to society as a whole.
It would be very natural to assume that if a party starts at ten then that’s where this article should begin as well. But for girls it starts much, much earlier. More often than not, the night begins at around 8:30 pm in one of the many Trimark Property apartments scattered by sorority row. If you were to peek inside the event that is getting ready to go out, you would find a plethora of phone chargers, a shortage on mirrors and a floor that is hidden under rejected outfits. The standard script will often include “Lipstick or no lipstick?” “I wore this in my last Gram can I wear it again?” “Are we wearing heels or flats?” “How the hell are we getting there?” with music blaring and Snapchat stories circulating.
Now let’s start with something on the simpler side–drinking habits.
Via: elitedaily.com
There are two rules of thumb that girls live by when it comes to their arrival at parties: never be on time and never, ever, come sober. There are few things worse than going to a party sober, being the first ones there and having to face the inevitable awkward run in with, well, whoever you are thinking about as you read this. In order to ensure that this never happens, girls will come just tipsy enough and just timely enough so that their liquid courage will do the talking. In the rare occurrence that the one prior mixed drink wasn’t enough to get the ball rolling, by the time of their fashionably late arrival, there will be just enough people to hide behind to avoid any unwanted conversation.
This brings me to every girl’s favorite drinking habit, Mio.
Mio is, hands down, the most popular drinking craze among girls at the moment. It has lowered the freshman 15 to a mere 10, and it makes Chek soda look like well, Chek soda. Girls whip the small containers out of their pockets like handguns and target the boy working the bar as they flirtatiously ask for a cup of “literally just skull.” After getting a small group of girls to retreat to the bathroom to fill said cup up halfway with water, fix every strand of hair and gossip, they will pull straws out of thin air and finally be ready to take on the night that lies ahead.
So before the drunk texting starts and after the Instagrams have been (almost) properly edited and posted, the real games begin. Not quarters, flip cup or beer pong; the most entertaining game for girls is the one they play with boys, especially in the party setting.
It should go without saying that girls love for flirting is small compared to their love of making guys jealous. I don’t mean to be too harsh here, but if she slings her arm around you and tells you that you are “the sweetest guys she knows” then she is probably not trying to hook up with you. If she comes up to you at a party and gives you a huge hug then she most definitely does not want to hook up with you. And if she makes a joke about sneaking away and hooking up with you then I do not think she will ever hook up with you. One of your friends on the other hand, well, most definitely.
There are so many different ways to tell if a girl actually wants to hook up with you, and none of them have to do with the words that are coming out of her mouth. If she name drops other fraternities in front of you, if she admits her undying love of your roommates record collection to you, if she tells you how much she absolutely despises you, but her eyes are saying something different, then so is she. She’ll probably bite her cup, incessantly fix her hair and the only time she’ll look down at her phone is to pretend you’re not interesting enough. It’s all one big game, but it’s just too much fun to ever actually quit.
After pushing our plates away in disgust, my friends and I proceeded to complain an unnecessary amount about how fat we felt, though we all agreed to pile in one car and go to D’Lites . By then, every detail we were willing to share with each other about our nights had been gone over and debated, and it was at that time that we all unanimously agreed if your night didn’t end with a boy, a bunch of mistakes or pokey sticks, then did it even happen at all?
