I like definitions.
I guess I’ve never actually seen what the real definition of the word love is…so just so we’re all on the same page here before we begin…
A three part definition, apparently:
1) A feeling of strong or constant affection for a person
2) Attraction that includes sexual desire: the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship
3) A person you love in a romantic way
Since I think this emotion is completely and totally the exception to every normalcy that we define our every day lives by, I’m going to break down this emotion with my condensed 5-part diagnosis.
Part 1: Love is impossible
I have a quarrel with this emotion – it makes no sense. I can tell you what makes me get angry, I can tell you what makes me happy, and I can tell you what makes me sad. I have reasons why I like chocolate ice cream and I have reasons why a bad grade makes me upset but I have absolutely no logical reasoning behind anything I do in the name of love. Have you ever tried describing a color? Think of the color red. Imagine you’re talking to someone blind – try and describe the color red without actually saying, ‘red.’
It’s impossible.
I’ve realized over time that the more I love, the less I actually understand it – talk about counterintuitive. I love my family in a completely different way than I love my best friends and I love my coffee in the morning in an entirely different way than I love lying down in the shower having my ‘Matthew time.’ That makes me think; refer back to the definition, what does love ACTUALLY mean? It’s like the myth of Sisyphus: no matter how hard Sisyphus would push that rock up the hill in Hell it always came crashing back down on him. No matter how hard I push to find out what this emotion means and really is, the harder it comes crashing down on me.
Part 2: Why do we love?
Some people say that you can only really fall in love once in your life. I’ve had this discussion a million times – if you TRULY love someone than you’ll never feel that same love for anyone again for the rest of your conscious life. But that fact alone begs the question…what makes love so special that I only get to do it once? What makes this emotion so special that I can’t begin sharing it with everyone in the same way? Why does monogamy exist? Why do people get married? Because they love each other? What does that mean, though? These are all questions I find myself pondering every day. I know I believe that when two people get married they should truly love each other but then why are divorce rates the highest they’ve ever been?
Part 3: Redefining Love
College is a beautiful place. It’s a place where we live in a perfectly crafted bubble for +/- 4 years and we meet our best friends, the connections that get us future jobs, and inevitably – a significant other. The sad truth that I’m being forced to realize is that after we walk across the stage with 4,000 plus of our counterparts; that bubble bursts and you walk into the shit storm that is life. When that bubble breaks, it sends everyone inside of it to all different parts of the world and it doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care whether or not you’re in a top tier sorority or not in one at all. It doesn’t care what you got on your first organic chemistry exam or how many times you go to the bars in a week. And it sure as hell doesn’t care whether or not you’ve been dating someone for your entire life because when med school is in New York and law school is in Virginia, the world keeps on spinning.
Via: askdrlove.com
On that note, I’d like to redefine Love, with a capital L, in my own way:
Love : The capability to endure the most arduous of adversities without fault or hesitation to attain whoever AND whatever you want.
If you truly Love the idea of being the next Steve Jobs, you would sacrifice anything and everything in order to make it happen. If you truly Love someone, you will chase him or her regardless of the weather outside. The conscious mind plays no role in love because love doesn’t come from the mind; it comes from the heart. The problem is that we THINK that we love things. Love isn’t something you think about; Love is something you feel. Love is something that consumes every waking moment of your life; it keeps you waking up in the morning and puts you to bed with ease at night. Love is an independent clause and an independent emotion.
Part 4: How to Love
I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to put everything together and give some clever advice on how people should actually Love. Well guess what, I have no fucking idea. But here’s what I do know:
* Love can’t discriminate.
* Love can’t be explained.
* Love doesn’t make sense.
Now, with that being said – here’s how I’ve decided that I Love:
* You shouldn’t have to say it if you really feel it.
* The phrase, “I’m sorry” no longer exists.
* Chase it, fall hard, and get the fuck back up and keep chasing it. Never stop running.
* Embrace humility & Love EVERYTHING.
Part 5: Accepting Defeat
After all this…I think I’ve learned more about this subject than I ever have before. Sitting here pondering what love is and what it means to me has really put me in an unusual position. I sat in the library all night studying Finance for my exam this week and the more I studied, the more hours I put in, the more I was getting out of it. But this, this is something that the more I’ve thought about, the less I understand. Some things in life really don’t make sense and I think that fact alone might be the best part of life. Accepting that some things are completely and totally out of your control always keeps you guessing. Maybe that’s what really gets us up in the morning and puts us to bed at night; not ever knowing what the next day has in store for you. I’m going to part now, but before I go, I’m going to leave behind a little Biblical wisdom from someone who has helped me appreciate love in a whole new light:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Photo courtesy of: Tumblr
