Every week from here on out, I’ll be putting together a small segment that comes straight from the convoluted, highly provocative, and perturbingly bizarre brain that found its way inside of my head…mostly because I end up driving myself crazy thinking about the things that everyone subconsciously discards and I end up dwelling on for days, so without further ado…
If we’re going to talk about being awkward, I think we should all start on the same page with a definition from our good old friend Merriam-Webster:
Awkward (adj.) – lacking social grace and assurance
Ugh, let’s move to a more credible source
Urban Dictionary says:
Awkward (adj.) – passing a homeless person on your way to a coin star machine
Okay, so I think we have a winner. That would be pretty awkward but that’s not quite applicable to the same type of “awkward moments” we face every single day. How about this one:
You walk into a party and there’s a fuck ton of people. Probably 200 for all you know and you decide tonight is your time to shine. You begin engaging in conversation with a female whom you happen to be getting along with pretty well. No more than 4 minutes and 30 seconds (5 minutes is the breaking point) into the conversation, you get the dreaded question, “What’s my name again?”
Stop. Before your palms get sweaty and you start looking around for clues on the wall that you are praying will give you some type of answer as to what the fuck this girls name could possibly be, take a deep breath and listen to my advice: beat her to the punch. Admit you forgot her name, admit you weren’t really paying attention to half the things she was saying, and admit that you’re sorry. The fastest way to alleviate awkwardness is with unbridled honesty.
Don’t believe me? Let me give you another example:
You’re in your room with the following people – Yourself, your room mate, and a member of the opposite sex that you have both engaged in some type of sexual activity with in recent memory. The feeling of knowing what every person in the room looks like at their absolute most vulnerable points – naked – can be viewed as “awkward” or “uncomfortable,” but that’s just to the amateurs. To the professionals, this is a time to capitalize on one of the most fun situations life can present. Being the person that speaks up and decides that awkwardness doesn’t exist not only assuages all shitty feelings in the room but also, creates a sense of comfort.
Look, here’s what I’m saying: The only reason people are awkward or situations are awkward is because there’s that person in the room that says, “That was awkward.” My point is that being or feeling awkward is a choice. It doesn’t make sense at all to make yourself feel a way that inherently makes you feel bad. We have a lot of choices in life that we don’t even realize or recognize. You actively make the decision to get mad when you see your boyfriend whispering in some girl’s ear. You actively make the decision to be happy when you get a good grade on a test. Believe it or not, we are in control of each and every one of our thoughts, actions, and feelings; we just choose to blame our afflictions on things we can’t control, i.e. “I can’t help it!”
That’s the problem. You can help it. No one knows you better than yourself so what’s the use in pushing blame on anyone beside yourself when you feel a way you don’t want to feel. Feeling awkward is a consequence of your own mental commitment of wanting to feel that way.
So the next time you start to feel “awkward,” stop for a second and think to yourself: is this how I really want to feel?
Because you might just be surprised by what happens when you take control of a situation rather than let it take control of you.
Photo courtesy of: hubimg.com
