“Describe yourself in three words.”
Chances are you’ve been asked to do this by professionals several times. For as many ways as I can argue for whichever three words I choose — usually “intelligent, energetic and ethical” — I can just as easily argue against them. Although I guarantee that’ll be the most memorable thing your interviewer experiences all week, try to resist the schizophrenic episode until you get the job.
Before attending law school, when I took classes where all that was required for an A was a halfway decent ability to memorize Smokin’ Notes packets and 100 flash cards, most of which were coupons to Adam’s Rib Co. or a dollar off your next packet, I used to just sit in Library West and read books like the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey and “Liar’s Poker” by Michael Lewis.
I learned a lot from Covey and Lewis’s words, but some things stuck with me and others didn’t. What? You can’t just read something and expect to retain it. If you put one book down and pick up another, you’re still you. You haven’t changed the very fabric of who you are. Sure you can cite a few memorable lines, but what does that really do for you?
“Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.”
-Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
Via: Steam Feed
So what am I trying to get at here?
If you’ve been doing the right things your whole life, then chances are you’re going to, for the rest of your existence, surrounded by incredibly intelligent, ambitious people — people who’ve read all the books you’ve read and then some, work harder than you do, have more drive than you do and have a better head of hair than you ever do – and keep it for more years than you do. There is not much you can do about it. It’s genetic. (The balding part, that is. Just take a look at a picture of your mom’s dad. As frat as it would be to do so, you can’t walk around the office your whole career with a headband like Lebron.)
It’s a little frightening to say it, but for the most part, the person you are right now is who you are going to be. Forever.
Forget the fantasy world you live in at college. All that extroverted, drunken behavior — you know, taking your pants off at the bar and buying yourself blow job shots — will change. Guaranteed. The persona you put on in public, even around your best friends, that’ll change as well. But when it comes to who you are, at the core, the real you — the things you think about when you’re alone, how you treat strangers, how you tip, the cadence of your voice and all the other things that make you who you are — that’s here to stay.
My parents often tell me that their work is done. (Not financially, I hope.) They say they’ve done their best with me, and the result is, for the most part, fulfilled. Usually they’ll tell me this when we’re talking about good things, not when they’re questioning me about why I’m spending so much money at “Balls Bookstore” and what an inappropriate name that is for an establishment that sells textbooks.
But they’re right (About the first part.) Who we are right now is who we are. Sure, a condensed version, but this is what we got. And, there is no Ted Talk that will change that.
Via: Rep Yo Grind
I’ve met new people since I graduated from the University of Florida. A lot of new people. Maybe I was spoiled, not everyone gets to pledge a fraternity and be surrounded by 40 cultured, well-dressed, charismatic and, most importantly, hot, guys at all times. But I’ll be honest, a lot of those guys were shitty people freshman year, were shitty people junior year and will be shitty people when they’re seniors driving 35 mph in the left lane and slowing down for a green light, “just in case.”
I’ve done things of which I’m not proud. In my defense, a lot of them occurred while I was drunk and hungry, but they still happened. And it upsets me. During my years of undergrad, I spent a lot of time apologizing for being hilarious — I’m still doing my fair share of that — but sometimes it’s important to take a step back and re-evaluate.
I meet people that are 26, 27, 28 years old, and they are terrible, terrible people. It almost makes you cringe to hear them speak, because it’s either so contrived or so aimless. You wonder how people became this way. How someone can be so oblivious to how nasty they are. How poorly and disrespectfully they treat people. How inconsiderate they are in situations that demand courtesy.
So much of our behavior is habitual. Whether you need to go the gym or you need to have that iced coffee in the morning. We can be so disciplined and so rash 100 times in the same day. “Just this one time” can go from a rarity to an obsession. And I’m not referring to the iced coffee.
Via: Media Twenty
For as self-aware as I think I am, I’m sure there are plenty of thing with which I am completely unconcerned and oblivious to. I’m glad I have friends that will tell me when I’m acting like a shmuck and are honest with me. How else are we supposed to change? We don’t listen to our parents after turning 12.
I can see how a lot of who I am has amounted from the people by whom I surround myself. That’s probably why I’m so damn sexy. You’re all at the age now where you need to surround yourself with great people, too. You don’t have time anymore to deteriorate by hanging around worse versions of yourself.
Just be better, dude. Do good things, make good decisions. If your boys tell you you’re a jackass, stop being a jackass. It’s funny in college, but when you get out, and you meet adults that actually have zero capacity to change, it’s very, very scary.
When you act like a dick around your boys, it’s cool because they know you’re actually a good guy. They’re blind to a lot of your shit. But when you get out there, that shit will be how you’re defined. You cheat on a girl, people don’t have 15 years of your history to weigh that against. You lie to someone’s face or you let someone down, that’s you, man.
So start being better. The next time you’re on a jog or at a restaurant or wherever, and you see a couple trying to take a romantic selfie, go up to them and ask them if they’d like you to take a picture for them. Hold the goddamn door for people. Smile at people once in a while instead of walking with your head down. Be polite to your waiter, say “goodnight” to the miserable girl who works at the front desk when you leave the gym.
Via: Huffington Post
Keep in mind that doing these things won’t make you a good person, but they will keep you from falling into the depths of shittiness. And the bonus is that these things make you feel great because it’s about more than just manners. It’s about putting out the best version of who you really are.
I know that as far as maturity goes, I’m a few years behind. (I blame my boys for that.) But I’m getting my mind right. I know I’m not living in college fairytale anymore.
And you should know that, someday, neither will you. You won’t constantly be surrounded by 200 of your “best” friends. And when it comes time to work, like real, real work, it’s just you and your thoughts.
So, be a good boy. If you owe your boy a Pub sub, don’t go Boar’s Head on your sub but not his. Because that is who you really are, dawg.
Feature photo courtesy of: Redlands
