Tipsy and tired, I walked onto a bus with no open seats. My heart sank.
But then a man gave up his seat for me, waving for me to take his place.
I was incredibly grateful in my not-so-sober state that this had occurred, and I took the seat happily and overheard the man’s wife telling their children that their dad had given up his seat because it is “the right thing to do.” The man, now sitting in a seat that had been vacated by someone who got off on the previous stop, elaborated, saying, “it’s just polite.”
Via: Piquant Salty Humor
What made this action “the right thing to do” and “polite”? Is it because I was tired and a little intoxicated? I don’t think so. I can hide those things pretty well, especially in the dark. I contemplated other possibilities, but to be honest, they’re more silly than actually plausible.
The reason struck me seconds later. It’s “the right thing to do” and “polite” because I’m a woman.
Don’t dismiss me yet. I’m not about to rant about the fact that this man gave up his seat to me is because he thought I was a fragile little girl who needed a seat. I don’t think that’s the reason at all. He is just a nice man who offered his seat to a woman who was too tired to decline. I have no problem with the nice man.
I am merely pointing out society’s double standards. If I were a man, that scenario would have been different. No one would have given up their seat because something inside of us tells us that men are able to stand. My problem, therefore, is with this thought process.
We have ingrained in ourselves the notion that in order for a man to truly be a good man, he must do nice things for women if he can, even if those women are strangers. Holding doors open for them, offering their seats on the bus to them, these are things that should be “automatic.”
Via: The University
I have spoken to a guy friend about this issue, and he informed me that for him, doing things like this for girls makes him feel good and feel like a man. This made me wonder, Is it an issue if the guy wants to do something for a girl?
Yes. It is. Because he was raised to believe that this is the right thing to do just because she is a girl. His mind has been shaped in a way that forces him to treat someone differently just because she is a girl.
And, honestly, we’ve all been shaped to think the other way, too. The way that says guys should be giving up seats on the bus to girls just because it’s “polite.”
To prove this theory, I performed an experiment. I was on a crowded bus again, but this time I had a seat. A man, probably in his late 20s, early 30s, stepped onto the bus and resigned himself to standing for the duration of his ride. I stood and offered my seat to him.
Via: WSFM
The look on his face told me that my theory was correct. He looked at me as if I were a unicorn. He was so taken aback by my gesture — a girl offering her seat to an able-bodied man — that he nearly lost his balance when the bus took a turn. He thanked me and took my seat.
In the moments immediately following the exchange, I looked around the bus. I noticed brief flickers of shock on the faces of many of the passengers, and a flicker of a smile from the bus driver. That smile, though brief, was a smile of pride.
And my heart grew three sizes that day.
Feature photo courtesy of: I Love College
