Your Netflix Picks of the Week

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Searching for a good movie on Netflix Instant is like looking for top shelf liquor at a frat party. You search and search and ask around for way too long and when you finally find a little bit hidden somewhere, you’re ready to ditch the party.

We’ve all been there, and we agree that ain’t nobody got time for all that browsing. So to spare you some time and a lot of agony, we will do the sifting for you and, each week, provide a fresh list of cinematic masterpieces you can find right in your friend’s your Netflix account and watch at a moment’s notice.

Our Netflix Picks of the Week will be the product of eclectic minds coming together to give you the créme de la créme (or what’s made available by the powers that be over at Netflix) of comedies, dramas, independents, documentaries, thinkers and, our very own creation, the stinkers — terrible movies we love to hate. Sometimes we’ll even throw in a good television show.

You’re welcome.

Comedy

“Scoop” (2006)

Before Scarlett Johansson got her ass-kicking license as brilliant Russian super spy Black Widow, she dabbled in espionage as the painfully awkward-yet-endearing journalist, Sondra Pransky, investigating a string of serial murders in Woody Allen’s “Scoop.” Half romantic comedy, half absurdly fantastic murder mystery, “Scoop” is a weird amalgam of magical realism and blossoming bombshell antics that only Allen could pull off. It’s like “The Princess Diaries,” “Ghost” and Nancy Drew came together and had a love child. Johansson will steal you heart, Allen will have you keeled over in laughter, and if all else fails, Hugh Jackman stars as the sexy, suave, serial killing, psychopathic villain. Need I say more?

Drama

“Donnie Brasco” (1997)

“Donnie Brasco” is responsible for the proliferation of the great Al Pacino-isms we all know and love, like “Fuhgedaboutit,” but more than that, “Donnie Brasco” is a great mystery/drama that explores the duplicity of human nature as Johnny Depp traipses through mafia life as Pacino’s right hand man, all the while being an undercover FBI agent. The tension is present from the moment the movie begins, and it never lets up. “Donnie Brasco” is a work of great story-telling, character building and camerawork. It’s a requisite viewing experience.

Action

“Valhalla Rising” (2010)

Turn off your phone, tablet, computer, girlfriend, boyfriend or anything else that might disturb you during this film. “Valhalla Rising” is one of those movies where, in the best possible way, you’ll barely know what’s happening when you fully pay attention, so don’t give yourself any other distractions. The king of visually stunning dramas Nicolas Winding Refn (director of “Drive”) takes you along for the ride as Norse crusaders make their way through early 11th century Scotland in pursuit of Jerusalem. Along the way they pick up a mute, one-eyed warrior named, oh so cleverly, One-Eye, who is apparently from hell, so that’s fun. This movie is trippy, compelling, suspenseful, slightly confusing and very violent. But seriously, don’t distract yourself.

Independent

“Rachel Getting Married” (2008)

Anne Hathaway, the person, is a grown-up version of that overly eager yearbook editor type everyone knew in high school. She’s just too enthusiastic about pleasing everybody and being well-liked. Anne Hathaway, the actress, takes her craft seriously (maybe a little too seriously) and is amazing at what she does, particularly because she’s able to subvert her natural persona to convincingly play a character that is the opposite of herself. This is what she does in “Rachel Getting Married,” an independent movie that follows the Hathaway as Kym, a formerly drug-addled and currently troubled woman who is trying to adapt to the world as she leaves off a stint in rehab in the past. She has skeletons in her closet and demons who keep her from finding solace. Adding insult to injury, her sister Rachel is getting ready to build a picturesque future for herself by marrying. The combination of those scenarios makes for entertaining and, at times, perturbing movie viewing. The discomfort you may feel while watching might be foreign but the movie’s semi-neat, wrapped in a bow, ending makes it all worth it.

Documentary

“Room 237″ (2012)

Stanley Kubrick is a genius. So much a genius, that I have convinced myself that all of his movies must have some coherent, logical meaning to them, much like I tried to convince myself that “Eyes Wide Shut” was a good movie. (It’s not, but the poor guy was on his way out anyway.)
“The Shining” is one of those movies that provide you with countless lasting images, whether it is the two freaky ass girls standing in the hall way, the “redrum” written in blood on the bathroom mirror or Jack Nicholson typing “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” on his aggravatingly loud type writer.
The movie ends and you’re totally satisfied, but naturally you should have great deal of questions, which you hope Yahoo! can answer. For example: “What even is the Shining?” That’s a pretty big question considering it’s the name of the movie.
“Room 237” attempts to illustrate a variety of theories that interpret what you just watched, and it’s incredible, especially because it is provides the speculations of Kubrick obsessed lunatics.
If you enjoyed “The Shining,” which you obviously did, this documentary really gives you some historical background and allows you to choose between several theories that you find best fit. The next time you watch this movie you’re guaranteed to be the shithead that whispers all your insights into your buddy’s ear until he wants to elbow you in the jaw and turn on “Madonna: Truth or Dare,” or some really shitty documentary. That never happened by the way, just saying. Like, it’s an example.

Thinker

“American Psycho” (1991)

“American Psycho” is one of those movies that constantly creeps you out while simultaneously making you laugh.

This black comedy takes you into the world of a yuppie businessman who works at his father’s firm by day and is a serial killer by night. He (sort of) hides his murderous tendencies with a cool, calm and collected personage, a corporate visage, lavish dinners and, of course, an impeccable business card (making for one of the funniest scenes of ‘90s filmmaking).

The movie ends and you have no idea what really happened. You’re left wondering if it was real or all in his head. The last scene is the same as the opening scene, so as soon as the screen fades to black you’ll immediately be searching about it on Google to see the meaning behind it all. Not only does this movie take you for a crazy ride, but it forces questions about vanity, materialism and human self-absorption. It’ll make you question the validity of modern values and our current society.

Stinker

“Spanglish” (2004)

To be fair, this movie is really only a stinker because Adam Sandler is in it. If you like any of the movies he’s made in the past decade you will probably hate “Spanglish,” because it is everything those films are not—emotional, profound, tense and insightful. It’s a cross-cultural melodrama that thrusts a Spanish-speaking maid and her budding young daughter into the middle of a toxic, dysfunctional upper-class white family. “Spanglish” will hook you with its stark, realistic treatment of self-identity and harmful family dynamics, and if you have anything resembling a soul it will definitely put some tears on those cheeks. Even Sandler can’t derail the poignant power of this drama; in fact, this is probably his least-awful performance to date. And that is worth seeing.

Classic

“The Muppets Movie” (1979)

I only watched this movie because someone told me the main plot, which follows Kermit running away from a chef trying to kill him for frogs’ legs, was too creepy for children. Turns out whoever told me that was mostly wrong, but it also turned out this movie is one of the smartest I’ve ever seen. I never thought a children’s movie from the 70s would make me laugh as much as it did. The self-aware movie shows follows the story of how the Muppets got their start through an epic cross-country journey filled with quick-witted humor and cultural references that still hold up today. The movie is really a testament to Jim Henson’s genius that he can make a completely family-friendly movie so damn funny.

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