Although we love to view the world in absolutes, things are seldom black and white. Heroes have skeletons in their closets and assholes secretly donate money to the ASPCA after watching the commercials with Sarah Mclachlan. Okay, maybe not.
But the point is that the world is a complex place, full of moral ambiguity, double standards and mixed feelings.
So, we at GainesvilleScene have taken the task upon ourselves to bring back the epic binaries of “good” versus “bad,” “right” versus “wrong” and “virtuous” versus “evil.”
We now humbly present to you: Asshole and Hero of the Week.
Asshole(s): Texas GOP
Via: texastribune.org
According to NBC, the Texas Republican Party has make public their approval of a gay “Reparative Therapy” program at their convention this past Sunday.
The “therapy,” in all of its pseudo-scientific glory, is the demented brainchild of the Texas Eagle Forum. They claim to be targeting “patients seeking healing and wholeness from their homosexual lifestyle,” despite the American Psychological Association’s public denouncement of such programs due to their utter ineffectiveness and the resulting psychological damage experienced by patients.
Gay conversion therapy is an artifact of the 1950s and 60s that (I had assumed) has long collected dust and cobwebs in the dark corners of creepy, forgotten attics. Yet, in a backwards move comparable to bringing back the lobotomy, tea party Texans have dusted it off and pinned it beneath their collective neckbeard.
No amount of clever sugarcoating can negate the fact that brainwashing doesn’t work. So if you’re a gay Texan, it might be time to get the fuck out and venture to a place where you can celebrate your identity instead of feel persecuted for it.
Hero: Sir Mix-a-Lot
Via: theboombox.com
I don’t know that much commentary needs to be expressed about the collaboration between the Seattle Symphony and Sir Mix-a-Lot. It’s pretty clear that within this story, there is an asshole and there is a hero. Truthfully, it was difficult to decide who was who, but after reading this quote from the conductor Sergei Prokofiev, it became a bit clearer to me just who the asshole and the hero really are:
“My aim with this new Sir-Mix-A-Lot inspired Orchestral work was to really get inside the musical mind of Sir Mix-A-Lot; to understand how his rhythms, textures, sounds and harmonies worked, and to create a contemporary orchestral composition that was true to the music of Sir-Mix-A-Lot.”
Now that guy is an asshole.
I was totally skeptical as well in thinking all these plump white women were planted in the audience, but after doing considerable research I am confident in telling you that they were simply just passionately erotic individuals seizing an opportunity that will undoubtedly never happen again.
I was thoroughly aroused by the woman in the black dress and I’m not afraid to say I have a huge crush on her. Whoever she is. 38-year-old Shawn Bounds…you fox, you.
Featured photo courtesy of: prlog.org
