Now that the Super Bowl has ended, it’s time to start gearing up for that other holiday in February. No, not President’s Day. Valentine’s Day.
February 14th, sometimes called “Single Awareness Day,” gets a bad rap for being a money-driven capitalist machine that targets hopeless romantics. Couples are pressured to purchase the perfect gift for their significant others, and singles are strongly urged to just stay home and wallow in self-pity (at least, subliminally). V-Day is the dreaded day that marks you as ‘in a relationship’ or ‘forever alone.’ But, who says that being single on Valentine’s Day has to be the end of the world? If you ask me, being single on V-Day is the best thing that could happen to you.
First off, if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, think of all the money you could save. While I’m sure your boyfriend/girlfriend will really appreciate the completely thoughtful and not at all last-minute bear holding a heart with a clever pun like ‘I love you bear-y much,’ save the $7.99 and buy yourself a strong drink later on in the night. Also, think of all the discounted candy you can buy on February 15th that you won’t have to share with another person. Think of all the Milk Chocolate Dove candies!
Of course, saving money for selfish intentions isn’t the only good thing about being single on Valentine’s Day. You also have the freedom to read all the cheesy sentiments from your friends’ romantically challenged boyfriends and thank God you didn’t have to practice your “It’s really sweet and not at all cheesy” face in the mirror for a week. You’ll never be that good of an actor. And, once all of your friends go out with their significant others, you get the privilege of donning your favorite pair of sweatpants, cracking open a beer, and enjoying your evening as a single person, free of the pressures that this day brings.
If you insist on going out on Valentine’s Day as a single person, make sure you are prepared for what you will encounter. Your friends will try to set you up with another one of their single friends, so make sure you have a polite exit line on the tip of your tongue if that person proves to you just why they are still single. If you choose to go at it alone, you will be harassed by some guy trying to ‘rescue’ you from the single life. Stay far away from these chivalrous gents. It’s all fun and games until he sends you a picture of his junk at three in the morning.
Just remember you have the upper hand in all of this. You’re single because you want to be, so just enjoy it. Do whatever it is that makes you happy, regardless of whether or not it involves anything related to Valentine’s Day. It’s just another day. You’re not less of a person because you don’t have anyone to celebrate with. Save your money and love yourself.
