Thursday November 28, 2013 will go down in history as the greatest Thanksgiving ever.
Why?
Because for the second time in American history an astrological coincidence has the Jewish holiday Hanukkah and Thanksgiving overlapping. This won’t happen for another 80,000 years, and who knows if the United States of Kimye will still celebrate Thanksgiving then.
Hanukkah, in a super-condensed explanation, is the Jewish holiday that celebrates the rededication of the second temple in Jerusalem following it’s destruction by the ancient Greeks. When the Greeks told the Israelites they couldn’t practice their Judaism, the Maccabees said, “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat” and continued in secret until the Maccabean Revolt drove the Greeks out. There’s a whole “Rugrats” episode that explains it nicely. Hanukkah lasts eight days and follows the ancient Hebrew lunar calendar, which is why it’s never on the same date each year. (PSA: That myth about the oil lasting for eight days? False. The real reason is the rededication took eight days.) It’s celebrated by lighting the menorah, playing dreidel, eating fried foods and chocolate, and eight nights of presents.
Below are just a few reasons why Thanksgivukkah is the best Thanksgiving, or Hanukkah, you’ll ever have.
Food
Even girls desperate for the “thigh gap” know Thanksgiving calories don’t count, so we’re already stuffing our faces in turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. But this year we get latkes, kugel and brisket at the Thanksgiving Seder (it’s an appropriate name for this year). The Internet has been blowing up with recipes that combine the best of the two holidays, making even the most gentile mouth water.
Via: tablemag.com
Black Friday
Jewish mothers love sales.
It’s not a negative stereotype, it’s Newton’s Fourth Law. However, Jews typically don’t fall for the Black Friday trap. But who could resist a Black Friday during Hanukkah? This year you can buy all your friends their Hanukkah presents on the biggest sale day of the year and give them their presents that day. You can even make a game out of it: you can all go together and get each other gifts right there, assuming nobody gets trampled.
Even though we claim to be broke college students, we’re all still JAPs (Jewish American Princesses, duh) and want…er…need, eight unnecessarily expensive gifts for Hanukkah, just like when we were kids. Suggest to your parents buying only Wednesday and Thursday nights’ gifts before Hanukkah and buying the other six on sale on Friday! Genius. Black Friday is a gift in itself, giving Jewish mothers across the country the pride of “getting SUCH a deal” during the gift-giving holiday itself. Pshh…try doing that on Christmas.
We Get Off!
Get your mind out of the gutter. UF doesn’t give us the day off for Yom Kippur, or Rosh Hashanah, but with Wednesday an official holiday, we get to celebrate the first night of Thanksgivukkah the right way. No class and without class.
Thanksgivukkah starts Wednesday night and will not stop until everyone’s passed out Thursday night. In many homes Wednesday night families will gather the traditional Hanukkah dinner, probably brisket because your mother’s not making chicken and turkey, that’s too much poultry. I know how she operates. After dinner everyone will open gifts, attempt to play dreidel, and get Manischwasted. Thursday morning everyone will wake up early to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade while Mom’s in the kitchen preparing the turkey and complaining how she’s doing all the cooking for two holidays in a row. “Next year, we’re going to your aunt’s house,” will probably be said. After the Thanksgiving feast, more gifts will be exchanged, and you will all get Manischwasted with your family again. It’s a super holiday within a holiday.
It’s not Thanks-Yom-Kippur
Could you imagine…
Family
Both holidays celebrate our cultural history and we celebrate together with family. Both holidays are rooted in religious freedom and we celebrate by gathering around and stuffing our faces with those who are truly important to us. Put down the books, forget about work and whatever else may be happening at school. Enjoy your Thanksgiving Break and make sure you get the most out your first and only Thanksgivukkah.
Happy Thanksgivukkah and mazel tov betches
