“Are you down for drag bingo tonight?” flashed on my phone last Monday afternoon.
Unbeknownst to me, the Jones B-Side hosts Drag Bingo on the first Monday of every month and needless to say, I decided it was something I had to experience.
Drag Bingo is exactly what you might imagine: a drag queen hosting bingo. The Jones’ resident drag queen goes by Chastity Rose de la Cruz, or simply Chaz.
The towering Chaz, even without the heels, calls out numbers in a melodious, masculine voice, dressed in a miniskirt, heels, knee-high socks, a well-groomed wig and a full face of sparkling makeup. Chaz interrupts themself (Chastity prefers this gender-neutral pronoun) with stories of their own personal sexcapades and stories they happen to know about people in the crowd. Chaz tells jokes and reveals personal details about themself you normally wouldn’t care to know about someone, like the strangest thing they’ve had “inside them” (SPOILER: It was a plastic toy “samurai side weapon”), but their ridiculous dress and matter-of-fact attitude about their outlandish behavior makes you want to hear more.
Almost every number is followed by a joke, along the lines of “B16, it’s illegal if you be 16.” When the number 69 is pulled, you can win a free square for making orgasm noises or sharing the strangest place you’ve had sex. Other than the cash prize at the end of the night, other rounds’ winners won soft-core gay porn novels.
On the patio of The Jones were two tables of gay men that Chastity bounced between before the game started. Catching up with old friends and introducing newcomers, Chaz knows how to work a crowd. Chaz came up to our table as we were finishing up our food, towering over us, Chaz asked us to come closer to the group.
Although most of the crowd were gay men who’d been there before, Chastity and everyone there made me feel welcome and restrained themselves to just minor joke-flirting, except one guy who clearly didn’t pick up on my heterosexuality. With more jokes and story telling than actual bingo, Chastity creates a hilarious, engaging experience like nothing I’ve ever seen in Gainesville.
Chastity has been doing drag for ten years and currently works full time at University Club, a gay bar downtown. They first got into drag when freshman Chaz went to University Club for the first time as a freshman at UF. It was his first time ever at any bar, let alone a gay bar. He saw a drag queen named Jasmine perform. “Back then I was really introverted, but when I saw her awe the crowd, I said to myself, ‘I want to do that.’”
I was surprised that there were any professional drag queens in Gainesville, let alone Drag Bingo at a restaurant I’ve been to plenty of times. But according to Chastity, a solid community of performers exists in Hogtown. “People are still fighting for spots on the calendar but there was a time when it was almost literally a fight. Drag can be very competitive.” Currently their eye is set to win the 2014 Tampa Bay Comedy Queen pageant.
To the haters Chastity simply says, “The future is coming and people that hold onto the past and cling to old concepts of normality are doomed to extinction.”
Chastity Rose de la Cruz took over Drag Bingo at the Jones just a couple of months ago after a “drag sister” Felicia Brooks started it at the beginning of 2013. The crowd is consistently mostly gay men, “but there’s always a few straights around that just enjoy the humor of it, not to mention the tranny chasers.” It’s from the tranny chasers where Chaz’s best stories come, like one man she refers to as “Kitty Boy.”
If you can’t wait until the next Drag Bingo night on December 2nd, you can see Chastity host the Santa Fe Community College Pride Festival or see them perform at University Club on November 30th, a great way to celebrate UF destroying FSU (hopefully).
Via: facebook.com/DragBinog.TheJonesBside
It was an unexpected night at an unexpected place, but truly Drag Bingo is a great time. Hit up your adventurous friends and hang out on the patio at The Jones; drink and laugh along with Chastity and the gang and maybe even win some cash (or some porn) to boot.
