Oh, the people you’ll find on the bus.
I don’t have a car in Gainesville, which means I have to rely on my friends–thanks, guys–and the ever-faithful RTS bus system. Spending so much time on the bus, I’ve noticed that a lot of Gainesvillians don’t know how to behave on public transit.
If you find yourself reading through these and saying to yourself “Hey! That’s not such a bad thing to do on the bus!” then you are probably one of these people.
The Top 7 Creatures You’ll Find on the Bus:
The Freshmen
Propped up straight with fingers wriggling, ready to pull the cord for their stop, freshmen study riding the bus like it’s another three-credit class. They never travel alone; they ride prepared with a buddy or an entire herd and they like to point out every building they see through the window. One freshman found it necessary to announce as the bus passed Fraternity Row, “That’s what a frat house looks like.” Yes, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and maybe one day, when you learn how to get around Gainesville more casually, you’ll get to see the inside, too.
If you’re reading this and you are a freshman, do yourself a favor and download TransLōc. You’ll impress all the honeys and/or fellas in Broward when you know exactly when the bus is going to come and you don’t have to chase after it in your Sperry’s.
The Loud Talkers
Whether you’re riding with your friends or just talking on the phone, watch your volume. The bus is a confined space and speaking at a decibel not even appropriate for game day in the Swamp will fill everyone in on the secret your friend just gabbed to you on the phone. I promise, nobody needs to hear about last night’s drunken debaucheries. Similarly, Gainesville is a wonderfully diverse place, but remember: just because you’re not speaking English, doesn’t mean we can’t hear you. It seems that no matter where in the world they’re from, these riders shout at each other, or at the person on the other end of the phone call and make it impossible to focus on my Candy Crush game. Keep it down, people.
The ACRs
ACRs get a bad rep from UF students, but I’m pretty sure most of the stereotypes come from the characters who lack the ability to ride the bus like a normal human being. Enough said. I’ll spare you the details.
The People Who Don’t Know How to Stand
Often times, the bus gets crowded. If you have to stand in the aisle and you choose to face anywhere except the front the bus, you are wrong. Even if you’re standing backwards to talk to a friend, that’s just uncomfortable. But the bane of this blurb are the people who face the windows, standing over the people savvy enough to get on the stop before the busy one and grab a seat. When you do this, you’re essentially straddling the person sitting down and with your arms up holding on to the railing, it feels like some bizarre, tantric lap dance. Nobody likes unsolicited crotches to the face from strangers, so please, stand forward.
Side note: When facing forward, hold on to just one side of the railing. You look like you’re about to catapult yourself out of the front window when you hold on to both sides at once.
The Passed Out Kid
College is rough during the day and can be even rougher at night. We all need our sleep, but the bus is not the place for it. It’s not always your fault, I feel for you, but if you’re that tired, make sure you have a friend to sit next to you to wipe your drool and wake you up before you end up spending the night at the RTS warehouse.
The Netflix Guy
Playing on your phone is an acceptable activity on the bus since it keeps you occupied and quiet, but be conscious of what you’re doing on your phone. Every so often there’s a guy screaming, laughing, or audibly emoting to something they’re watching on Netflix. Watching movies while traveling is typically reserved for toddlers in minivans on road trips to Disney World, not the ten-minute commute to class. Save Breaking Bad for later and stop spoiling it for for the rest of us with your reactions.
The SnapChatters
Riding the bus alone can get, well, lonely, but in 2013 you’re really never alone. Some people find it necessary to broadcast their entire RTS journey to their entire contacts list via SnapChat. Gone are the days of candid Snaps, and the act of fixing your hair, angling your body for the best light and holding up your phone calls a lot of attention. A selfie is becoming an accepted public act now, but you’re still making a scene to let your friends know you’re on a bus. It’s not that interesting, and people are staring. And judging.
Riding the bus is a pretty boring activity that puts you in front of the public when you may not be at your best. The best thing to do for yourself (and others) is make the bus commute as peaceful and smooth as possible; Listening to music, play on your phone, read a book or quietly catch up with a friend. Even though nobody really cares what you do, don’t become one of the aforementioned RTS creatures. Stay calm, inconspicuous and, in the famous words of the mysterious RTS voice, look both ways before crossing the street.
Via: openculture.com
Photo courtesy of: Montalvoarts.org
