Just before the hooligans of Gainesville ventured off to their various Spring Break destinations, Netflix released the highly anticipated third season of its political drama “House of Cards.”
As most of the “House of Cards” fan base was off doing body shots off Belizean strippers, I was spending my spring break without my woes but with my beautiful family. Though this sounds like a Spring Break rife with FOMO (I assure you, it was), I felt as though my body needed a detox from my decadent Gainesville habits.
While at home, I tirelessly tried to keep my mind off the fact that I wasn’t in a lawless country recklessly drinking and gambling at some ratchet casino. I successfully averted my wandering, jealous mind by spending time with my family and, of course, my favorite politician: Frank Underwood.
Via: Moar Geek
If you haven’t seen the third season of “House of Cards” or any of the seasons for that matter, then go back to doing worthless BuzzFeed quizzes or watching Vice because this article contains major spoilers.
I was excited to binge-watch the third season and completely indulge on the corruption of Capitol Hill. However, after I finished the season, I scolded myself for not being on a cruise or passed out on a beach in the Bahamas yet again — this time doing so because the season was simply underwhelming.
The premier episode began with a classic Frank scene.
He traveled to Gaffney, South Carolina, to visit his father’s grave and to tell him that he is now the President of the United State. He then proceeds to urinate on the gravestone.
Other than that, the first episode was replete with scenes of Doug Stamper’s recovery, which alluded to the ostensibly pivotal role he’d play this season. (Side note: His role was not pivotal, at all.)
As the season progressed, it seemed like each scene was a replica of the scenes that came prior. Frank has a low popularity rating; Claire wants a bigger role in government; Doug continues battling alcoholism while also recovering from his injuries. There. I just summed up at least four episodes of season three.
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Perhaps the online streaming service’s best accomplishment this season was in its promotion of the new products of Samsung. While sticking to product placement is basically the only way Netflix could make money with advertising, the company should stick to some level of character development while whoring itself out to the latest tech gadgetry.
This season did make a small effort to introduce new characters, such as author Thomas Yates (way to choose an original name for an author, Netflix) and develop existing ones, like rising presidential candidate Heather Dunbar, who was Solicitor General in the second season. Both characters add a different flare to the plot, but even their stories contained nothing that would surprise viewers.
There admittedly were a number of scenes within this otherwise lackluster season that were my personal favorites in the history of “House of Cards.”
At the end of the fourth episode, Frank visits a cathedral or church to meet with a priest. There, the two discuss topics like justice and love, as well as how the proper way to serve the country is by serving God. Shortly thereafter, when the priest leaves Frank on his own, Frank approaches a crucifix on an altar and says, “Love? Is that what you’re selling? Well, I don’t buy it,” and spits in Jesus’ face.
When he reaches to wipe off the spit, the sculpture collapses, shattering into bits and pieces. Frank’s reaction? He grabs Jesus’ ear.
“Well, I have God’s ear now,” he quipped.
Via: NewsBusters
Scenes like this are what truly make “House of Cards” an extravagant show, but its content within each episode continues to lack. The season drags along while the Underwoods make their usual political maneuvers while others begin to pick up on their sketchy ways. (Sound familiar?)
In the end, the Underwoods enter the competitive democratic caucuses, but Claire declares a separation between the two, leaving the president without his First Lady. A bombshell? Maybe. A surprising, exciting finale? Not in the slightest.
I’d like to attribute the mediocrity of season three to hubris, which is a plausible side effect of stellar back-to-back seasons. However I don’t think the negative reviews will be enough for the producers to change their habits. Netflix is obsessed with the ongoing ballad of Frank Underwood, as are the viewers. But after season three, it might be time to look inward and realize that all of Frank’s dramatic asides and bold decisions are a bit dated.
It might be time to incorporate some side stories with actual substance, and give the presidential rhetoric a much-needed break.
Feature photo courtesy of: New York Post
