Monday morning. 10 a.m., January 5th, 2015, University of Florida
It was the first day of my last semester of college and I wandered through the hallways of the Constans Theater, fervently checking ISIS to make sure I had the right room number.
I’m slightly sweaty from underestimating the time it would take to walk there (mad respect for the Olympic power walking team), and I finally find the right classroom with 3 minutes to spare.
Aaaannnddd it’s empty.
In fact, I notice that the entire hallway is empty. And then I think of my hurried walk through campus and suddenly realize that the entire campus was pretty empty.
I make one last feeble attempt to find answers on ISIS only to see that school starts on Tuesday.
I curse under my breath and then start laughing out loud alone in the hallway, 1) because the nonexistent class I was about to go to is an acting class (who would’ve thought?) and 2) you would think after 7 semesters of this I would remember to check when the first day of school is.
While this example clearly demonstrates that I still haven’t quite mastered the art of higher education, as I launch into the last four months of my university experience, I can say I’ve accrued some wisdom that deserves to be passed on.
One is not loneliest number
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
From the moment you are shoved into a closet-sized room (also known as a dorm) with a complete stranger (also known as a roommate) the traditional meaning of loneliness changes. Instead of the “I’m all by myself” kind, you become familiar with the “I’m constantly surrounded by other people” kind. This kind is an animal of its own that essentially cripples your ability to spend peaceful time in true solitude.
With the cliché of “the friends you make in college will be the friends you have the rest of your life” hanging dauntingly over your head and the technology-addicted culture of our generation, it becomes increasingly hard to build a positive self-concept that doesn’t involve other people. (According to a recent study of Facebook users, the amount of time spent on social networks is inversely related to how happy you feel throughout your day.)
Whether it’s forcing yourself to keep your phone in your pocket while waiting for someone to meet you or going alone to that dance performance at the Phillips Center since your friends would rather go to happy hour, learn to be comfortable, like really deeply comfortable, with time spent by yourself.
Fight FOMO
The ugly stepchild of BOMO (black out, make out), FOMO, (fear of missing out) is a phenomenon you will get very familiar with over the course of college. This pervasive form of social anxiety, where one is compulsively concerned that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience or other satisfying event, is a hallmark of the digital age.
FOMO is more than just an unsettling millennial feeling. Oxford University’s Andrew Przybylski published a major academic study of the phenomenon, “finding that FOMO correlates with general discontent, and that it disproportionately affects young people, especially males.”
In a school as large as UF, every evening offers a smorgasbord of opportunities for debauchery, extra curriculars and interaction. Having spent a brief time living in a sorority house, where FOMO is almost as bad as the food, I’ve had to develop some serious strategy.
If you’ve already mastered the above lesson, then you’ll be able to recognize (and appreciate) when it’s time to say “Thanks anyway, but I can’t tonight” and “Hell yeah, I’m down.” Pay close attention to your emotions and thought processes as you get invited to things or while making weekend plans. If you can be calm and notice the patterns of FOMO-related anxiety, you can clearly see when you’re making decisions based off of fear or based off a genuine desire to participate.
Regardless how funny the FOMO memes and #YOLO references are, don’t take it lightly. It is NOT healthy to be ruled by anxiety that everyone else is out having fun and making memories without you. FOMO can destroy any sense of balance in your life. While you might think your social status may get a boost from being a yes man, your grades, health and overall well-being are at stake.
Do you really want to be known as the local bar rat?
Don’t build your resume. Build your life.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself “Why am I in college?”
If your immediate answer is “Uh…to get a job.” You’re not alone these days, but it wasn’t too long ago that you would have been a lone wolf in your reasoning.
According to the Higher Education Research Institute, in the early 1970’s nearly 75 percent of college freshman said developing a meaningful philosophy of life was an essential aspect of college to them, while only a third considered being very well off financially to be essential. Today, the opposite is true.
The notion of using higher education as a true vessel for intellectual development and cultivating a rich foundation of meaning seems to have been replaced. In its place is anxiety for the future and the associated misery of chasing the elusive “dream job” or even just a paycheck.
To top it off, the concept of the Renaissance man has undoubtedly become a lost art.
You may be required to sit through “What is the Good Life,” but don’t be fooled; the public education system is not set on giving you a holistic learning experience. With exorbitant charges added when you go over your credit hours, one could go as far as to say, the system is forcing you to be a one-trick pony.
It’s tempting to bitch that you don’t have time in your schedule to take anything interesting (trust me, I’ve battled through organic chemistry and reporting), but there are a lot of classes that are worth making room for and worth paying for.
My suggestion? If you’re a STEM major, make sure you take at least one really cool humanities class each year. If you’re studying humanities, find a STEM class. It doesn’t have to be something terribly difficult, just something you are genuinely interested in learning about. Throw in a dance class as well. Why?
1) You only get one shot at higher education (usually), so make the most of it. Show up, ask questions and learn. A good rule of thumb is: genuinely give a shit.
2) You might find out you are in love with another subject more than your current major. It’s a way to test drive the area of study without totally switching gears academically.
3) You will expand your mind, your frame of reference, your network and your knowledge base, which helps in every aspect of life (and thus circumventing the aforementioned one-trick pony syndrome).
It is next to impossible to fully prepare yourself for the college experience, especially since every person has vastly different expectations as to what they want out of it. But it is possible to grow tremendously from your time in higher education.
You can do the bare minimum, have a “get in, get out” attitude and make this a slightly bigger version of high school, or you can really dig deep. You can invest your time, energy, effort and thought into sucking every last drop of potential from your time here. (Don’t worry, you can still complain to your friends that you don’t want to go to class and become an expert at funneling Natty.)
If nothing else, at least check when classes start before you show up.
Feature photo courtesy of: HalogenSoftware
