My most recent epiphany occurred as most of my insightful realizations tend to: among profound considerations and a few gin and tonics.
A friend and I were warmly embracing the hair of the dog to fend off the bodily remnants of one inebriated July 4th holiday. I was bitching about the minor pitfalls in my otherwise unscathed life, mainly in regards to the people who’ve disappointed me, and correspondent memories that have left jaded tastes in my mouth. During the rant, my accusatory verb of choice was “hate.” I threw it out liberally as the conversation regressed further and deeper toward my bone yard of past resentments.
Somewhere along the tirade of self-pity, my friend stopped me and asked: “But do you really hate them?” I didn’t have an immediate response.
Via: visualizeus.com
She went on to proclaim the exhausting nature of the word “hate” and how it’s far too frequently designated to negative situations. She explained that truly hating someone means that you are essentially giving a part of yourself to that person with a “no-return” policy attached. Instead, you receive a crippling amount of spite that seeps into your consciousness and manifests itself, distorting your outlook and, even if in a small way, inhibiting your ability to move on.
After mulling this over and downing the latter half of my cheap cocktail, I realized a few things: One, that I had a personal Yoda and two, that my personal Yoda was right.
Hatred is toxic. It isn’t tangible and you cannot inject it into your veins and watch the effects that it has on your mind and body, but if you harbor enough of it, it can become just as virulent as poison. It can take hold of you, preventing you from embracing opportunities and giving way to sour perceptions and a blackened heart.
The word “hate” is more powerful than we’d like to admit. It comes packaged with a heavy burden that promises to do more long-term harm than good. By hating something, you are allowing it to control you, thus increasing your hatred toward it and setting off a begrudging chain reaction.
Hate is essentially derived from high expectation and low satisfaction. When we become too idealistic, it is easy to become disappointed. The only way to combat hatred is by learning to detach expectation and inflexibility and reclaiming open-mindedness. Once you are able to view your interactions objectively and realize that you are not a victim of your own experiences, the word hatred can bear no weight on your soul.
So next time you say that you “hate” Chinese food, your reporting professor or a deceitful friend, consider whether you are willing to allow them to hinder your happiness. If you dislike something, then let it go, because while “hate” may be just a word, it carries a significant amount of weight.
Featured photo courtesy of: feelnumb.com
