Gainesville is good for a lot of things.
Enjoying pure SEC ecstasy until your forehead sweat seeps into your eyeballs at halftime? Check.
Catching a quick glimpse of the half-naked cowboy internally raging face at noon on the corner of Thirteenth and University? Check.
Literally getting your penny’s worth of moscato inside of a Beef O’Brady’s/Holiday Inn complex on a Thursday night? Double check.
Hogtown’s got you covered.
As far as oddities, nightlife, and world-class athletics go, you really couldn’t ask for more from a college town. However, change the scene to a bye-week and suddenly our eclectic city’s buzzing populace drops to the ranks of Stark and Waldo.
Where the Hell is everybody?
You ask yourself as a tumble weed rolls gently between the entrances of Balls and Dog. There’s no doubt about it; Gainesville can go from good time to ghost town in what seems like seconds and sometimes you are left wondering what in God’s name you should do to occupy your Sunday.
You could settle for drowning yourself in a small aquarium of Blue Curacao as it dribbles down and stains your finest #teamdaydrinking apparel OR you could sip Mother Nature’s sweet nectar by taking to the great outdoors.
Florida is home to some of the most rich, diverse wildlife in the nation and some of its finest examples are located snug within the realm of Alachua. With vast miles of swampland, grassy trails, and unscathed bodies of water, it’s easier to get back to your hunter-gatherer roots than you might think.
So strap on some comfortable shoes, grab your walking staff, slather on some SPF and unleash your inner (pre-Claritin clear commercial) Jeff Corwin by exploring some of the natural wonders that the greater Gainesville area has to offer.
All great explorers need someone to lead them into the wild…Lewis and Clark had Sacagawea, John Smith had Pocahontas and you have Morgan and Emma.
Morgan – Devil’s Millhopper Geological State Park
While its namesake makes it sound more like the location for an incestual horror flick than a prime nature spot, Devil’s Millhopper is anything but. A pristine series of lush, green trails and boardwalks lead to a massively impressive, 120 ft. deep sinkhole. Located just a millhop, skip and a jump Northwest of UF’s campus off County Road 232, the State Park is both bike and hike accessible and well worth the fifteen minutes it takes to get there. Grab a hot date, a couple of Pub subs and brewskis and picnic your worries away tree hugger style. Bonus: The site’s dense tree overlay provides the perfect amount of shade necessary to beat Gainesville’s sweltering heat. All you die hard limestone and fossil junkies will be transported to geological heaven, as the area is hosts some of the oldest, petrified remains in Florida. For those of you yet to get psyched about silt and aquifers, take World of Water, get stoked about sinkholes, and get your ass over to the Mill. Point blank (and with absolutely no pun intended whatsoever) this conservation destination – wait for it – ROCKS.
Emma – The University Gardens
If you’re like me and attempt to walk to Southwest Rec multiple times a week and never quite make it, The University Gardens, located on Museum Road and right across from fraternity row, will be your oasis. The gardens consist of a few simple trails leading out to a spot overlooking Lake Alice. The wooden rails are filled with carvings of romance, inspirational quotes and the occasional gang symbol. It is quiet, beautiful and benches placed along the wooden trail make for perfect places to meditate. The University Gardens is chock full of butterflies, crazy looking caterpillars and intricate spider webs. Thing to watch out for: A giant penis carved into a tree. It’s impossible to miss on way back from the overlook.
Morgan – Lake Wauburg
I will forever contest that Wauburg is the University of Florida’s most understated and unbeatable sites for student recreation. Literally flash your Gator 1 and gain access to the Wonka Factory of local, outdoor bliss. If you fancy yourself as a yachtsman of sorts, pick from a variety of vessels and set sail into the unknown.
If you prefer to channel your inner Crocodile Dundee, you can stand-up paddleboard your way through various shapes and sizes of vicious gators. Hell, you can even swim with them if your heart so desires. Call it a party foul, but I’d rather observe a mouth of razor-sharp teeth from the comfort of one of the Burg’s rentable kayaks. As the late, great Steve would say: “Don’t muck with it”. You can also grab a ski card and try your hand at shredding the gnar via wakeboard, kneeboard, or classic skis. Feel like taking a break from extreme water sports? Wauburg also offers a series of challenging rock wall and ropes courses that will no doubt prep you for Survivor auditions. All of this shit is absolutely free, people. Get your cheap self over and experience world-class environmental leisure at no cost, then buy yourself a burrito at La Tienda on the way home.
Via: recsports.ufl.edu
Emma – Gainesville Creeks and Waterways
Unleash your inner Huckleberry Finn and explore the Hogtown Creek Watershed, one of the largest watersheds in the area. You can access Hogtown Creek at one of the city’s beautiful nature parks - Alfred A. Ring Park, Loblolly Nature Center (part of the Hogtown Greenway) or the Split Rock Park. You can walk along the bank or take your shoes off, roll up your jeans and walk through the water with your toes in the streambed. It is serene and lush and the perfect place to wander. Just remember to keep it clean, the creeks eventually make their way into the “well” from which we draw our drinking water.
Morgan – Payne’s Prairie
What we lack in moderate temperatures and diverse terrain, we make up for in murky, reptile-infested bodies of water and flat, creature-filled grassland. Enter Payne’s Prairie. With nearly 21,000 acres to explore, it’s a wildlife lover’s Shangri-La. Did you know we have freaking buffalo and antelope here?! Not to mention alligators, wild horses and nearly 300 species of bird. It’s like Sub-Saharan Africa sans malaria and international conflict in your own God damned backyard! A win-win. Just remember, Payne’s is Florida’s first state preserve, so don’t shoot anything. Hike, horseback, or cycle the sixteen-mile long Hawthorne trail or less intense La Chua path. Not into hoofing it through the great outdoors? You can always up your Instagram like game by snapping the breathtaking sight from the Prairie’s 50 ft. high observation tower, complete with panoramic view. Click here for more trail maps, camping information, and park regulations.
Via: visitgainesville.com
Morgan – The Canyons Zip Line
As a veteran Zip Line aficionado, I was skeptical of this nearby destination. After gliding between Costa Rica’s rainforests and vast gorges on some of the world’s premier tracks, I doubted that flat, agricultural Ocala could compete. Last spring, Ocala rocked my shit. For just under 90 bucks, you get three, full hours of high-flying adventure across a mile of course via nine different lines. The guided tour allows you to whip through native trees, past cliff formations, and over pristine lakes landing briskly upon wooden platforms. I haven’t tried it out yet, but the latest and greatest Super Zip apparently reaches speeds of 50 MPH and is famous as Florida’s highest and fastest line. Throw in one dank nature walk and your moolah is well spent on an afternoon of alfresco delight. Not willing to suffer the wrath of sweat-soaked helmet hair during the day? Experience the same tricked out expedition under the moonlight during the company’s exclusive night tours. What are you waiting for? Get your Tarzan on you filthy animals. Click here for more booking info.
When it comes to unmatched wildlife and untouched, Floridian trails, the Gainesville area has more outbound opportunities than you might think. No matter your preferred method of exploring or your taste in recreational activity, there’s something for every Bear Grylls and Girl Scout on campus. When you get sick of movie marathons and pretending to be on E-Learning, take a bold step outside and remedy your hermit status. Take a hike. Pitch a tent. Make like everyone’s favorite animated Native American and paint with all the colors of the Alachua wind.
Photo courtesy of: imdb.com
