15 Mistakes of 2015 That I Would Make Again

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The holidays are meant to be a time of joy.

You are surrounded by the people you love. You commit the selfless act of gift giving that will leave you eating Ramen for a month until your bank account can again help you purchase the standard pizza from Five Star. You are reminded of the true meaning of family which consists of slipping copious amounts of rum into your coffee cup each morning in order to face the questions you must answer about the life you haven’t quite mastered yet.

If this doesn’t sound like a fucking fiesta already, we have one more thing to add to the list: The start of a new year.

For the members of the 20’s club, the start of the new year always means one thing — reflection. And when you’re in your 20’s, a year’s reflection has you reliving a lot of mistakes.

But it’s a new year, right? This means that you have a mistake-free slate to help create a “new you.”

The only problem with mistakes is the fact that someone is always there with a camera when you’re making them. This renders the idea of a blank slate pointless. Sorry kids, but your mistakes aren’t like the puke in your bathroom that you have to clean up after a wild night out, it’s more like the red wine your best friend spilled on your new white dress.

Mistakes aren’t all that bad though. They kind of made us the people we are now, and for that, we should celebrate mistakes. The new year shouldn’t be about trying our damnedest to forgot the year before and start fresh, it should be about remembering all the dumb shit that we’ve done and being thankful that we aren’t in prison.

So, to celebrate, I have created a list of 15 mistakes  I made in 2015 that I would happily make all over again.

Mistake 15:

Ninety percent of the knocks on my door were the pizza man.

Reason for Redo:

Some of the cheese and bread went to my ass giving me at least something to work with.

Mistake 14:

I went to Envy more than once.

Reason for Redo:

I got a chance to show off my new ass that Dominos gave me.

Mistake 13:

I had a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.

Reason for Redo:

Now I can tell people how much it sucks without the “don’t beat it until you try it” comment. It tastes like my mother’s potpourri.

Via: Flickr

Mistakes 12:

I got a Tinder and actually used it.

Reason for Redo:

One kid had a mansion which included a wine bar that me and my roommate took full advantage of.

Mistake 11:

I kept giving Uber drivers my number.

Reason for Redo:

If Tinder doesn’t work, I now have a plan B.

Mistake 10:

I bought a fanny pack and wore it to Midtown.

Reason for Redo:

Totally kidding. This wasn’t a mistake, this was one of my best ideas. I just wanted to put it on here to show off.

Mistake 9:

I went to an ex fuck buddy’s syllabus party who I still had feelings for.

Reason for Redo:

His roommate and I had a great bonding moment over a trash can that we accidentally set on fire. Who knew that preventing a house fire is the best distraction from your ex?

Mistake 8:

I spent Valentine’s day with a cow piñata that I stole from a Valentine’s day party.

Reason for Redo:

The cow never complained — not once — and he dispensed chocolate from his stomach hole.

Mistake 7:

I spent Gator Stompin’ handcuffed to my friend who is a borderline alcoholic and is notorious for disappearing after her second shot.

Reason for Redo:

It was the first time in four years that we spent an entire night of drinking together.

Mistake 6:

I spent entire game day without my purse. It had my phone, student ID, state ID, credit card and car keys in it. I was still drunk from Friday night and I thought I lost it, but thankfully it was under the pile of clothes that I took off for a University of Tennessee student.

Reason for Redo:

I now can say that I know how the Amish feel. Plus, the Volunteer was a nice guy.

Mistake 5:

I spent the first football game (which was my “last first game” ever) tailgating at every frat house on frat row.

Reason for Redo:

I got to a ride a mechanical bull, wave an American flag on a shot table and I found a Tri Delta gameday pin that made for the perfect Halloween costume.

Mistake 4:

I got involved with a coworker. I was a host, he was a bus boy. We all know how that ended.

Reason for Redo:

He had three chickens that roamed around in his backyard. He named the leader chicken Beyonce. I love meeting exotic animals.

Mistake 3:

I brought my mom to Grog and she lost her wedding ring on the dance floor.

Reason for Redo:

She never went to college and needed the experience. Even though losing your weeding ring sucks, I’m sure the spirit of Grog is taking good care of it.

Mistake 2:

I aided in the persuasion that led my best friend to throw a fully functioning TV off a three story building during a tailgate.

Reason for Redo:

Ole Miss was written on the TV.

Mistake 1:

I flooded my bathroom, my room, roommate’s closet and part of my living room one wild Wednesday night.

Reason for Redo:

I’m now an expert when it comes to apartment floods.

~

I hope this list helped you to understand that even the worst mistakes can led to something great. Even when you screw up, there is a silver lining to every experience if you’re open to seeing it. Before vowing to have a new year of angelic perfection, be thankful for the mistakes that have shaped who you are so far.

Besides, if you think that in 2016 you aren’t going to make more mistakes, you’re probably one of the people voting for Trump.

Featured photo courtesy of: pexels

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