The Art and Science of Deception

I’ve overheard enough drunken Midtown arguments to know that they usually begin with a drunk, teetering girl whining “Just be honest with me” to some stupefied oaf who wants to get back to downing brews with the boys.

This “lack of honesty” in relationships makes the top ten in the list of complaints most girls doing yoga at Southwest are bitching about, right along with “are leggings pants?” and the line at the new Marston Starbucks. I often wonder whether these girls actually wish for the truth because typically the truth is something we can’t actually handle.

Brutal honesty can be painful. But sometimes, it’s necessary.

After a dating fiasco that can only be categorized as Reason no. 2958930 of why you shouldn’t date self-proclaimed “sensitive guys,” I must concede that honesty is usually the best policy. Maybe not for the person you’re lying to, but for the liar himself.

While this may seem counterintuitive, research proves that lying is a cause of real health issues.

According to Anita Kelly, a psychology professor at the University of Notre Dame who spent ten weeks researching the health effects of lying, the group of participants who were instructed to lie less experienced fewer health complaints, improved relationships and better quality of life. All of these results point to the undeniable fact that lying hurts you. And I don’t mean to say that in some sad, “your-feelings are-hurt” way.

Liars don’t just go to hell; they also get there sooner than their more honest counterparts because of the amount of stress they invite into their lives. Lying triggers the release of adrenaline, increases our blood pressure and exerts our adrenal system. Your mastermind web of lies requires maintenance, unfortunately, and even your college education doesn’t prepare you for the level of brainpower needed to keep up with these lies.

All of this leads to a phenomenon called cognitive dissonance. Psychologists define cognitive dissonance as a conflict between our belief system and our actions. When we know something is wrong or bad for us, yet continue to do it anyways, cue the internal turmoil.

In a (not so) surprising statistic, it was found that couples, particularly those in college, lied to each other in about one-third of their interactions. While these lies may just be white lies used to protect others, they still lead to poorer relationships.

Even if we think we’re capable of “House of Cards”-worthy machinations, our bodies aren’t. One example is the fact that our telomeres (the caps of our chromosomes that prevent them from unraveling) get shorter as we age, causing cell death. This process of cellular death via telomere shortening is sped up significantly when our bodies are under stress. So lying can potentially kill you.

In a day and age where social media, GPS devices and technology make lying so much harder, we continue to do it more and more. Just subtly, in ways that we qualify as justifiable and merely “lies of omission.”

Let me share a trite little example of lie of omission that seems common in college relationships. When you tell someone you want to take a break for reasons of personal space and growth yet conveniently leave out the fact that you’re going to be fucking your ex during this “break,” this isn’t a simple oh-whoops-totally-forgot-to-mention, definitely-slipped-my-mind-mistake — YOU ACTUALLY JUST LIED, MOTHERFUCKA.

No matter how you define lying, it comes down to the intention of deception or deliberately giving a false impression.

While you might hurt my feelings and cause momentary discomfort, the overall benefits of truth-telling prove that the adage “confession is good for the soul,” is actually true.

Spare your cells, our dignity and your bad karma by telling the whole truth.

No matter how you define lying, it comes down to the intention of deception or deliberately giving a false impression. If it causes pain but needs to be said, then just say it. Regardless of my former opinions this little life lesson has proven that honesty is for the best, even if it comes with a side of distress.

The overall benefits of truth telling prove the adage “confession is good for the soul,” is actually true.

 

 Feature photo courtesy of: Say Anything Blog

 

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