I was sitting at my roommate’s desk trying to figure out what the hell I should write about, when I began overhearing a conversation taking place on the opposite side of my wall.
“He left before I woke up,” a girl whined.
Amused, I leaned my ear closer to the wall to see what excuse the poor girl would make up on his behalf. But as karma would have it, the room above me began to blast “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” shooting down any chance I had at successfully eavesdropping. Though at first I was upset that Billie Joe Armstrong’s outdated voice ruined my shameless curiosity, I realized then and there exactly what expertise I was seasoned enough to write about: How to survive living in a college dorm.
A warm thank you to Dr. Phil for letting me parallel my seven steps of surviving living in a dorm with your seven steps of overcoming addiction: purpose, denial, coping method, danger zones, accountability, lifestyle changes, rewarding yourself.
Both have high success rates (hopefully).
I guess it’s safe to say that when it comes to living in a dorm, I am practically a professional. I live in a triple in the ghetto, non-renovated, quickly deteriorating side of Broward Hall, where it never smells normal and the walls are covered with condoms, quotes and 4-month-old fliers. But there is a PURPOSE as to why I have opted to live in the dorms for my freshman fall and spring, though I must constantly remind myself of it.
I will never again live in such an unpredictable environment, or in a “home” that is really just a large room with three beds. There is always someone to talk to, always a friend to go out with, always a familiar face in the lobby and always an acquaintance in the library (unless they do something irrational like shut it down for 16 days). I have learned so much from living in the dorms, but just like every other useful learning experience, it has not been an easy adjustment.
In order to truly begin the survival of the dorm, you must first be honest with yourself. I am talking about stepping out of DENIAL.
You have a problem here, and the problem is that for the rest of the school year you will not have one inch of space, one minute of quiet or one bit of privacy. The amazing thing about this issue, though, is that when so much changes overnight, you find that it is actually easier to have so many people and so much madness constantly there to distract you. See, I have discovered that once you come to terms with the fact that you will now have no room to yourself, it becomes a bit easier to deal with.
So I know I am fortunate, like many others who attend UF, that my hometown is not too far away, and if I need to take a short trip home as a COPING METHOD, I can totally do that. But when you’re not as lucky as I am, or if going home once in a blue moon is not sufficient enough for you, some semi-desperate measures can be taken — namely, shacking. Dorm life gets old often, and if you need just one night away from a place where apparently coming home after 1 a.m. causes people behind a glass box to stare holes in your soul, then I think that is completely justifiable. That being said, since you are living in such proximity to so many people, who you shack with is not as easily justified. Hooking up with your roommate’s woodser date, neighbor’s current flame, suitemate’s former girlfriend, and etc., all are what are referred to as DANGER ZONES.
When you live in a place where the most privacy you get is a stall door (which is broken more often than not), it is really not a great idea to get involved with a fellow inhabitant’s love life. When you know your roommates, at even the most superficial level, and spend the night out, questions regarding your whereabouts will likely be asked, and you must be prepared to answer them.
Word to the wise: don’t lie. You’ll probably get caught. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college it’s that here the word “secret” has less meaning than the french fry-shaped statue behind Marston.
Of course, if you are feeling sneaky enough, you absolutely might be. But, in the event that you get caught in a danger zone, you will obviously have to be ACCOUNTABLE for your slip up. Whether it’s an awkward conversation with your former “#perfectroomz” or just the silent treatment, you will probably not be able to make it out unscathed. So, just don’t go there.
Once you use willpower and stay away from the potentially awkward situations that I mentioned above, you will have successfully started to make some good LIFESTYLE CHANGES. Though the adjustments you have made as you embark on the journey that is dorm life may seem trivial, I really do believe they shape you into a better person.
For instance, it’s actually impossible to be selfish and live in a room with another person (or in my case, two other people). You will learn to take care of your roommate on a Sunday Funday, come to their rescue on a Techno Tuesday and in return you’ll find people who will pick you before the sun rises on a Saturday. In the dorms, it’s about giving without expecting anything in return, and isn’t that a beautiful way to live life anyways?
Okay, so before we get to the last step, let’s review: First, acknowledge the purpose, then step out of denial, next find some coping methods, in doing so be careful of danger zones, if you mess up then take responsibility and in the end you will have made useful lifestyle changes.
Congratulations! It’s officially time to REWARD YOURSELF. If you have made it this far in following my wisdom, then give yourself a firm pat on the back and a hellaaa nice apartment for next year.
