Friends with Benefits, Not a Film Review

Friends with benefits: Can it actually work out?

Without thinking about that stupid movie…well, now that we’re thinking about that stupid movie, and by stupid I mean maybe one of the best movies of the decade, let’s turn to our close friend who we sometimes have sex with but mostly just want to cuddle with but accidently drunk dial 14 times a night and ask them: “Babe, can we really be friends with benefits?” In all honesty, the answer to this question lies somewhere in between “no” and “naaah”. So, if in your head you’re picturing an overly enthusiastic high-five after you’ve just had sex, you’re in for a roller coaster ride through a tunnel of shit.

Perhaps a relationship like this could work in the real world, as in, not college, where you can go out, and the odds of you seeing each other are slim to none. Or maybe when you’re 25, 26 and you’re working crazy hours, and your goals exceed that of “getting a pic behind the DJ booth with my girls” and “instagraming a picture of my ****”. One of which is awesome. Listen, there are a lot of people who will claim to have a friend like this, but they’re probably just referring to a “fuck buddy” and my homie Snoop puts it best “we don’t love them hoes”.

Think about the reasons why you would want to be with someone. They have a lot of money, the sex is great and they have a lot of money, all of which you will encounter during your “friends with benefits” relationship. There is a sense of pride people get when they can listen to someone they are attracted to spew about sexual encounters and not be jealous. It happens all the time, and there is no better feeling as a guy than to truly not give a shit. But listening to someone you do the dirty with, not only talk about doing the dirty with someone else, but doing it dirtier!? That’ll hurt you, that’ll hurt you deep down.

“Friends with benefits” is how you’d probably describe someone you were friends with for a while and then started getting intimate with. It’s probably not someone you met one night and took home; ‘cause after that, odds are you probably wouldn’t be friends. No offense to spontaneity. Let me give you some advice, coming from someone who is in no position to give advice on this matter, if you find someone you truly like spending time with in college, and kills it in bed, just be with them. Anyone who is not a freshman, and especially who is in Greek Life, knows that you hate roughly 95% of the people you spend your time with. So, if you find your friend with benefits, don’t mess it up, just be with them, because you always want to anyways.  For the sake of not ending this article on a cute note:

Titties.