I was always under the impression that junior year was marked by applying for internships, struggling through serious classes and waking up in cold sweats wondering where life is going.
In order to prepare for these types of obstacles, I came back to Gainesville this fall with a new planner, a juice cleanse and a decent amount of ZzzQuil.
Unfortunately, I was in need of something much stronger than watery kale juice and over-the-counter sleep meds to prepare me for an aspect of junior year that I had seemed to have forgotten about: 21st Sign Nights.
Let me back up a little bit.
It was an incredibly hot August day in Gainesville, and everything seemed completely normal. I had gotten all of my books for the semester, I had reunited with all of my friends after a summer of being away and I had successfully skipped all of my classes for drop/add. As far as I could tell, it was going to be a pretty predictable Thursday.
But then I received a Facebook notification.
My heart skipped a beat when I looked down at my phone. I knew in that moment that this notification stood for something much bigger and much more chaotic than it seemed to lead on.
This notification marked the first 21st Sign Night of the year.
For those of you who don’t go to the University of Florida (or do and have lived blissfully unaware until now), the “Sign Night” is a celebration that girls have when they turn the pivotal age of 21. Along with a horizontal license and slimmer chances of getting denied at Salty Dog, the birthday girl is thrown, for lack of a better word, a birthday party.
A Sign Night isn’t just a pre-game or a party. A Sign Night is an incredibly thought-out, often chaotic, and, at times, explosive get-together that shares many qualities with that of an over-populated sauna.
The Sign Night is made up of three major components: The event page, the event and the sign
The Facebook Event Page
With normal events, the Facebook event page is a simple way to notify guests of the who, what, where and when. The Facebook event page for a Sign Night (more commonly referred to as “her page”), however, is used specifically to humiliate and harass the birthday girl with fond-ish memories of drunk nights and weirder mornings.
In the “description” of the event, there is a poem or a story or just some random arrangement of words exposing embarrassing moments, strong personality traits and occasionally, a list of some interesting personal achievements. (i.e.: She has made out with 17 Andrews.)
On the wall of the event, guests have free reign to post whatever photographic evidence they have of the birthday girl displaying incredibly embarrassing and questionable behaviors.
A video of her making out with her brother’ best friend when she was a freshman? Check. A picture of her peeing on the bike rack outside of Broward a few months ago? Check. An entire album of her trying to unsuccessfully sneak away after shacking without anyone seeing? Double check.
And to add insult to injury, the page guest list isn’t limited to close friends. The invites range from her very best friend to the guy she made out with on the Later Gator bus that one time last spring. It’s the job of the birthday girl to take every post with a grain of salt. After all, they did the same thing to their friend’s page last week. Why dish it out if you can’t take it?
On any given Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or maybe even Monday, your phone will buzz with yet another Facebook notification: “Reminder: Your event “Blackout Queen Sketchy and Sassy Girlie’s Radical, Ridiculous, and Rich 21st” is today at 9:30 p.m.”
Yes, it seems as though the day of the Sign Night is finally here.
The Event
Before you just throw anything on, you should probably check the event page. There might be a dress code and you don’t want to be the only person dressed like you’re going to Midtown when everyone around you is dressed up like slutty schoolgirls. Or in workout clothes and sweatbands. Or in fashionable gold togas. Or in tuxedos and sparkling dresses. (This hasn’t happened yet that I know of, but I feel like it’s a major possibility.)
Or maybe there isn’t a dress code. Maybe you get to wear whatever you want. (As long as it’s not burgundy. The birthday girl is wearing burgundy and you will make everyone uncomfortable if you show up wearing burgundy. Just don’t be that guy, ok?).
After picking out an outfit as close to a tennis player that you could find (“The birthday girl is requesting all guests to come ready to play doubles”), it’s time to go.
There’s really no need to look up an address, just wander around the apartments behind sorority row and follow the loud voices and even louder Drake songs to the location. When you’ve found yourself covered in sweat and some weird red drink that someone spilled on you, then you’ve made it. You’re at the Sign Night.
In the back you will find the boys. They don’t really know what to do with themselves. They’re mingling. They’re overwhelmed. They’re wondering when the fuck they can leave.
In the front, surrounding the birthday girl, are all her friends (and friend’s friends. And friend’s friend’s friends). Eleven girls are trying to get something worth Instagramming, while ten others are trying to out-drink one another. In the corner, you’ll find five girls doing damage control when her ex-boyfriend shows up and in one of the bedrooms, you’ll find three girls counting down the seconds until they can reveal the sign.
The Sign
The sign reveal is probably the most chaotic, aggressive and ridiculous part of the night.
Essentially what happens is this: the friends of the birthday girl get together in the weeks leading up to the event and make a big glittery cardboard sign. This sign is an object or person that is synonymous with whoever is being celebrated. For example, she likes mermaids and tennis, therefore, her sign is a mermaid playing tennis.
On the back of the sign is a list of 21 things that the birthday girl is supposed to finish by the end of the night, but more often than not she is passed out by number two. (#2: Take a shot for every Andrew you’ve ever made out with.)
After about an hour of sweating, bad attempts at conversing and even worse attempts at getting drunk, it’s time for the sign to be revealed.
Chaos ensues:
“Everyone be quiet!!” all of the girls will start yelling. I am not even exaggerating when I say that every single one of the girls in attendance will start yelling “everyone shut up!” until everyone is just screaming, and the boys are continuing to wonder when the fuck they can leave.
See, the main issue here is that the girls are just yelling over one another, and the boys are just ignoring everything that’s going on around them. Eventually someone will just bite the bullet and reveal the sign even though everyone is still talking.
The birthday girl will be overcome with joy at the cardboard rendition of a Serena Williams mermaid, and you can take this as your cue to leave and beat the line at Fat Daddy’s.
Whether you ended up bar hopping with the birthday girl or going home early, give yourself a pat on the back for attending. Because no matter how tedious these Sign Nights get, the true fact of the matter is that you did a good deed by showing up. While we may try and deny it, it means a lot to a girl when you show up to her Sign Night.
And if you didn’t come, then you probably weren’t invited anyways.
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