A good friend of mine shared an article with me a while back when I was complaining to her about a guy and how wishy-washy my situation with him was (spoiler alert: it didn’t work out because he was a closet asshole).
The premise of it is a theory the author, Mark Manson, calls “The Law of ‘Fuck Yes or No,’” which goes as follows:
“The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”
I’m a naturally hyperbolic person so this was right up my alley. I needed to hear something so certain and absolute to parallel my way of thinking. Why would I ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with me? My momma raised me better than that.
Relationships in college are hard and weird. Well, at least they are for me. The half-assed attitude about dating and relationships we all silently decided to take on as soon as we registered for classes has been a constant source of frustration these past three years.
You meet someone at a bar or party, exchange numbers, feign interest for a week or two before you either hangout or hookup or both and one of you decides it’s done, leaving the other confused and asking themselves what they did wrong (read: I am almost always that person because I am a loser).
I do get that people aren’t going out looking to find their soul mate. They just want to get drunk and have a good story to tell the next day. And of course, there are a lot of variables that determine whether this seemingly shared experience has to do with college culture or me as a human being. Am I ugly? Do I sneeze too loud? Is it weird that I still love the Jonas Brothers?
But that’s beside the point.
The point is that we can have fun and be reckless during this time in our life, but being “Fuck Yes” about it is the important part. Like Manson says, “You can be ‘Fuck Yes’ about getting to know someone better. You can be ‘Fuck Yes’ about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be ‘Fuck Yes’ about giving things a few months to pan out and see if you can fix the problems in the relationship.”
I’ve found it’s easiest to make this theory part of your life by starting small. Do I want this seventh cup of chocolate pudding? Fuck yes. Am I going to go to class today? Fuck no.
Hazzah! You can still do what you’ve been doing, but just set some intention my friends. So, dear readers go on and be “Fuck Yes” about someone or something that makes you happy because life is too short to be “Fuck Maybe.”
Featured photo courtesy of: HelloGiggles
