Summer has arrived and you have completed your mission.
You have spent what seems like endless hours at the gym fighting off sweat and holding in tears the next morning. You have chugged enough protein to fuel a horse. Every magazine you own has dog-eared pages filled with tips on how to get fast sexy abs, and your social media feed resembles an inspirational Nike commercial.
You were determined to make this summer your bitch and you did it.
All your hard work has paid off, and you’re more than ready to turn some heads with your rock-hard abs and buns of steel.
Suns out, guns out, right?
It’s time to show up to the pool party or that weekend trip to Miami Beach and completely steal the show. It feels great to watch people gawk at you like they’re deer in highlights, and you can’t tell what’s hotter: you or that ruthless sun.
Via: The Tribe Magazine
You’re so hot, everyone’s offering you drinks — yes, even if you’re a man.
You get offered another drink. Then some shots make their way around the group. And, well, you can never take just one shot, can you?
At this point, you’re feeling pretty badass; you can totally beat that 20 second keg stand. It’s pretty late, but fuck it, that’s what summer is all about. More drinks it is.
You order a pizza loaded with insane toppings, down more than half of it yourself, chug water as a form of hangover preventative and crash.
The next morning sends you into a spiral of shame.
You have broken all of your fitness rules. Staying up all night, ordering that pizza and consuming alarming amounts of alcohol has left you feeling like shit.
But you remind yourself that it’s summer, come fall semester you can’t have as much fun. There will be school, you need a job and you get your gym membership back. You can always do a full-body workout sometime this week.
Via: Flickr
That is all fine and dandy until next week turns into next month and the hint of a beer gut starts to make an appearance. Those washboard abs have moved out, and you have slowly faded back into the crowd.
The days of whistles and continual stares are gone. You can thank all the Heineken for that. Now, it’s mid-summer and the only thing you have worth showing are the impressive flip cup skills you’ve acquired.
You are back where you started and it sucks.
Now you realize that keeping an open tab on your body would’ve helped, but the babes were out and the beer was ice cold.
There are distractions everywhere and you thought that your body was here to stay — at least until August when you could get your shit together.
But your body is always on a different agenda, and you can’t outsmart nature. Beautiful bodies don’t spring from nowhere and they don’t stick like tattoos, unless you’re George Clooney.
Sorry folks, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Featured photo courtesy of: whowhatwear
