My Aunt Wanda lived in an era of drive-in movies and jukeboxes. She bought coke floats at Walgreens, a once-hip hangout spot. While on dates, her dinner came to the table via a girl in roller skates.
More remarkably, when a boy liked her, he had to ask in person, and only after meeting through mutual friends or acquaintances.
Her idea of hanging out during those days involved taking walks around the neighborhood together or playing cards, and that it was “never all that fancy.” And when the date wrapped up and came to an end, they’d go their separate ways, only to reunite a few days later when the boy rang the doorbell and asked to go out again.
Via: Jackson Mountain Homes
Contrary to popular belief, “dating” in its raw form isn’t dead. Hook-up culture has not swallowed it whole. But it has taken a new life form that is a hollow shell of its former self.
As members of Generation Y are well-aware, there are countless pros and cons to having technology and social media in the dating game. But it’s impossible to accurately evaluate the Internet’s impact without knowing what dating was like before it came along. So some investigation is necessary.
According to my aunt, communication in the 1950s and ‘60s happened almost exclusively through letters, especially if your significant other was in the military. And even when house phones became a thing, she says she rarely used it to chat. So I asked her to envision what dating would’ve been like had technology been at her disposal. This was her response:
I actually think we would’ve had even more to talk about if we did have a phone, because the moment you thought about something you could tell that person. But without that, you forget about these little special thoughts and go on about your business.
Overall I think social media and technology is a good thing. It’s much better. Yes, you lose certain things, such as penmanship, and sometimes people use the computer for evil, but I don’t believe it was designed for that. I think the computer is a fantastic thing. You can keep in touch with loved ones.
The only setback is that stuff didn’t follow you as much, some of your online history may be really good, but now one mistake follows you forever. You’re a different person than you were five years ago; you meet different people throughout the stages of your life.
Via: We Love Dates
Fast forward to the ‘80s. That is when my mom and dad fell in love with rock ‘n’ roll, and each other. They were high school sweethearts whose relationship, like others during that time, was borne out of mutual friend introductions, an apparently timeless thing.
My mom described the basic dating scenario, which traversed from the initial introduction through friends to eventually spending most of the relationship hogging your family’s phone (RIP landlines). Dates were pretty standard: Dinner and a movie. They began with the guy ringing the doorbell, coming inside for a few minutes of polite small talk, and then the couple went on their merry way.
When I asked her about how technology could have affected the dating during her days and, particularly, the way she and my dad interacted, this was her response:
I don’t think its better or worse, I just think it’s different. No matter what generation, I still think dating is strongly defined by the social setting and your parents. Even today your parents can still factor into approval of your significant other, if that’s the family dynamic.
I don’t know that I missed him any differently by not having texting or Facebook, talking on the phone was just the accepted form of communication. It just gave you more to talk about when you were in person. The lack of technology just seemed to make it take longer to get to know one another, because even with the telephone, you still had restraints of family and other responsibilities.
I can’t say whether or not social media would have made our relationship any different, but I think in general it makes the connection much more forward, much faster. So in that respect I would say it helps people who may be more shy or reserved.
Via: The Gloss
I had to get a man’s perspective on the whole thing, especially since some people think that technology changes the classic “guy asks girl on date, guy calls girl, guy makes the first move” scenario. My dad agreed that talking on the phone was the “big thing” back then, and said that over the phone was where you would typically ask a girl to go on a date. When I asked about the post-date protocol, this was his reply:
Setting up the date would be a longer process than how it usually goes today, it would be much more planned out and wasn’t instantaneous, simple or anything like that. After the date you would say goodnight and one of you would call the other about a day later. The whole time during that was very suspenseful, you were wondering if she liked you or had a good time during the date, and if she didn’t answer or return your call the next day or so, you would be really concerned that she wasn’t into you.
With texting it seems that everything is more up front, it’s not as coy. It definitely takes the suspense out of waiting, and guys don’t really have to be as brave anymore. Guys probably had to be a little more aggressive with making moves than they do now.
Texting is great, but it doesn’t say everything. Without being face-to-face, you lose true meaning and you can end up interpreting a few different meanings. I think sometimes it can just make things more confusing for the two people involved instead of just talking in person.
Via: Soda Head
So with all of that knowledge being dropped, we’re given more context to better weight out modern-day pros and cons of the prototypical technological relationship.
Sure, children of the next generation may never know that a doorbell was once used by young boys eager to take out a pretty lady. All dates will someday start with a variation of the “here” text sent from the inside of a car. But on the other hand, if your significant other has to be out of the city/state/country for work or other obligations, how nice is it to be able to text, talk and Facetime every evening when you’re missing them?
Or at the beginning of a blooming relationship, it’s pretty convenient that you can check out their Facebook profile to see their likes and dislikes, what they feel is important enough to put on their public Timeline, and so on. But conversely, you could get yourself in too deep, and start obsessively checking their social media until you’ve convinced even yourself that you’re crazy.
To me, it seems that every technological pro can be taken a bit too far, and every con could be fixed with a personal limits and self-awareness.
At the end of it all, we hate to admit that we love social media, technology and all the things that can connect us with family and friends (and yes, even attractive strangers). But why?
I say let’s just give in and embrace the new-age form of showin’ love.
Feature photo courtesy of: The Gaggle
