Disclaimer: The following contains a very rudimentary description of yin, yang and Eastern medicine. I am no expert. I am just a shit-head trying to make sense of it all.
A few months ago, I met a hippie witch doctor at a music festival who, within a very short period, would kindly inform me that my kidneys were depleted. My blood was thin and my heart was tired.
Via: Career Suicide
I thought he was hilarious, like someone out of a Coen brothers flick. (See Knox Harrington, the video artist). Naturally, we became fast friends. I learned that he was in school for acupuncture and massage, so I went and visited him during his clinic hours for the full treatment. What I expected was a kick-ass massage and maybe some needles to the dome, not a proverbial ball busting for how badly I’ve treated my body the past few years.
I found this pretty offensive. First of all, I eat a primarily plant-based diet and fish twice a week. I hardly ever get sick. I run 3 to 5 miles six days a week. I have a resting heart rate in the 50s. I don’t drink soda. I don’t smoke cigarettes (unless I’m shitfaced). I can dead lift 135 pounds (I’m barely more than 5 feet). And this gypsy is going to tell me that I’m destroying my kidneys? Taxing my adrenals? Depleting my yin? What?
I looked into yin and yang and Eastern medicine in general. In layman’s terms, yang is heat, fire, chaos, passion — basically all the shit that defines my bizarre existence. Yin is calm, cool, reflective – all the shit that I’ve pretty much abandoned as of late, with the exception of a few paintings and some yoga moves here and there. The key to health, according to Eastern ideology, is a fine balance between these two opposing forces.
Via: Pinterest
Well, ain’t that some shit? I was very annoyed. He was telling me I should stop running, that running was actually ruining my body. More than simply not running, he suggested I sink into a womblike environment for about a week in order to fully revitalize. He also told me that the food I was eating was all yang, that specific foods actually trigger cold and heat in the body. All my favorite foods – sriracha, peanut butter, salmon – are “super yang.”
I will never stop running. I refuse to abandon the simple routine that once saved my mental health and helped me battle a turbulent stint of substance abuse. This would be a form of sacrilege.
However, I am very happy with Hippie Witch Doctor. More than simply convincing me that I need to chill out a bit if I want to live past 27, he has enlightened me about the stark differences between Eastern and Western visions of health, as well as their respective medical procedures.
Ultimately, Eastern medicine is aimed at the forefront. It is preventative, subtle, mystical, holistic and oftentimes weird as shit. (Eating kidney-shaped foods is supposed to be good for your kidneys. WTF?)
Western medicine, on the other hand, steps into action right before you’re about to kick the bucket. Until you’re puking and shitting yourself, simultaneously, you are the quintessential picture of perfect health.
Via: Muscle Matters
Although I am the daughter of a physician of Western medicine, I realize now that the system has many holes in it. I don’t agree with HWD that running and other forms of cardio are “bad,” but I do agree that this activity is largely contextual, i.e. because there are so many overweight Americans, of course there is an emphasis on the importance of aerobic activity with regard to general health. In fact, everything about health is contextual. A body builder, a yogi and a distance runner are all going to have vastly differing views on what constitutes health. The same goes for people who follow specific nutritional plans, e.g. veganism, paleo, macrobiotic, etc.
And although I don’t believe half the bullshit he tells me, Hippie Witch Doctor has bestowed upon me a deep appreciation for the notion of balance that I have so long neglected.
So thank you, hippie witch doctor. Namaste. I will now chase my vodka with green tea instead of coffee.
Feature photo courtesy of: Zero 2 Sixty
