Your Netflix Picks of the Week

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Searching for a good movie on Netflix Instant is like looking for top shelf liquor at a frat party. You search and search and ask around for way too long and when you finally find a little bit hidden somewhere, you’re ready to ditch the party.

We’ve all been there, and we agree that ain’t nobody got time for all that browsing. So to spare you some time and a lot of agony, we will do the sifting for you and, each week, provide a fresh list of cinematic masterpieces you can find right in your friend’s your Netflix account and watch at a moment’s notice.

Our Netflix Picks of the Week will be the product of eclectic minds coming together to give you the créme de la créme (or what’s made available by the powers that be over at Netflix) of comedies, dramas, independents, documentaries, thinkers and, our very own creation, the stinkers — terrible movies we love to hate. Sometimes we’ll even throw in a good television show.

You’re welcome.

Comedy

“The Dictator” (2012)

Sacha Baron Cohen is the ultimate master of being so blatantly offensive that the universe literally implodes. In “The Dictator,” Cohen was able to transfigure tyranny, misogyny, anti-Semitism and Western hatred into knee-buckling hilarity. It is the most belligerently inappropriate mockumentary, after “Borat” and “Brüno,” but that is exactly what makes it irresistible. This time around Cohen plays Admiral General Aladeen, the despotic dictator of the fictional Republic of Wadiya, who ends up in New York City following a string of attempted assassinations and over-the-top political maneuvers. There he encounters feminism, vegetarians, masturbation and something along the lines of love-inspired humanity.

For a film that cuts it just under the 90-minute mark, you get plenty of shit-inducing laughter and timeless quotable material. The caricature Cohen paints of Middle East politics and the perception of Western indulgence is so ridiculous that your Fox-obsessed conservative friends might even think it’s real.

Drama

“Steel Magnolias” (1989)

Sally Field and Julia Roberts as mother and daughter, a salon-owning Dolly Parton and a hilariously angry Shirley MacLaine: You already know that this stage play-turned-movie is going to be one to remember. Welcome to small town Louisiana where this close-knit group of friends surround a mother and a daughter in their local salon. The sweet wedding in the beginning of the movie is the end of happy moments. The movie goes full circle from birth the death, life and loss. The idea that “it takes a village” is personified in the wonderfully Southern women who surround Julia Roberts. This sad tale will take you through what it means to have a family, and that it’s not all about blood, but bond. It may seem like a chick flick, but “Steel Magnolias” goes way beyond that, touching the hearts of any and all that watch. Grab your tissues people.

Action

“Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” (1998)

Guy Ritchie’s directorial debut “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” masterfully combines action, drama, suspense and comedy in a Cockney-accented tale of four lads who finds themselves on the wrong side of a scheme. To explain more would be to spoil the movie, but know that the storyline involves gunplay, a pornography empire and marijuana. An exciting movie that will leave you wanting more of Ritchie’s take on the action heist subgenre.

Independent

“Safety Not Guaranteed” (2012)

“Safety Not Guaranteed,” starring Parks and Rec’s most endearing sociopath Aubrey Plaza, is a sweet combination of time travel, unexpected love and saying what everyone is thinking but wouldn’t dare say out loud. It tells the story of Darius Britt (Plaza), a disillusioned college graduate interning at Seattle Magazine. She and another intern join big-time staff writer Jeff Schwenson on an extended, investigative reporting rendezvous in Ocean View, Washington, after Jeff comes across an intriguing classified ad.

After realizing Jeff’s only intent is to rekindle a summer love from his high school glory days, a.k.a. bang the smoking hot blonde that hasn’t aged a day in his mind, Aubrey takes the story full-throttle, befriending the questionably cuckoo Kenneth Calloway— self-proclaimed time travel aficionado. The duo instantly become an inseparable pair, and their friendship begs you to reexamine everything you thought you knew about trust, acceptance and love. All sappiness aside, watch “Safety Not Guaranteed” for the just-misfit-enough cast and brilliant performances.

Documentary

“Cocaine Cowboys” (2006)

If you’re from Miami, have ever been to Miami or just like a good old-fashioned documentary about drugs, then this movie is for you.

“Cocaine Cowboys” delves into the rise of the cocaine and crime epidemic that engulfed Miami in the 1970s and ‘80s. The documentary interviews law enforcement, journalists, former drug smugglers and gang members to tell the story of how Miami went from a quiet retirement city to the international vacation spot it is today.

This film won’t make you want to change your life (I hope), or inspire some sort of alternate way of thinking, but it gives some great insight into the truth behind Miami’s dark past and what life was like during the years of the “lost paradise.”

And for those who don’t really care much about Miami or history, it’s a fun documentary on smuggling drugs, organized crime groups and people getting away with breaking the law and making a ton of money doing so. It’s like “Scarface” or “Miami Vice,” but real. Too real.

Thinker

“Red State” (2011)

“Red State” is probably Kevin Smith’s most serious film. Instead of his usual Jay and Silent Bob antics, this film features a bunch of insane religious zealots and their wild pursuit to enforce their ideology upon the masses. With its extreme graphic violence and controversial plot, “Red State” forces you to question the notion of organized religion and all of its less-than-savory implications, especially with regard to human rights and ethics.

Classic

“Clerks” (1994)

Though not a classic in the classic sense of the term, “Clerks” is nonetheless a classic. Released in 1994, this comedy was the first of the many raunchy, wit-infused Kevin Smith creations. Foul-mouthed and sexually charged, this black and white film follows two service employees named Dante and Randall as they ruminate about life, love and their shitty jobs. When Dante is called into work on his day off, he must attempt to keep the Quick Stop running smoothly despite the never-ending slew of distractions, including those cleverly created by his friend Randall.
Similar in style to sketch comedy, but still managing to include a clear storyline, the film features the tenaciously eccentric dirty duo, Jay and Silent Bob (played by Smith himself), who would later become a pop-culture hit and star in their own film series. Never missing a chance to make a wise crack, this whimsical ensemble turns the blandness of reality into straight slapstick hilarity.

TV Show

“It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” (2005- )

The premiere of FX’s new show “You’re The Worst” has sent us on a trip down memory and got us thinking about other gems FX has presented the world with. One case in point: “It’s Always Sunny.”
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” is television’s comedic masterpiece. In essence it is a deconstruction of the classic sitcom form – it features a zany cast of Philadelphia natives who own a bar, Paddy’s Pub, where they get into all kinds of shenanigans (steroids, crack, sun-tanned babies, rum ham, etc.). Every episode is brilliant in its own baffling absurdity. Oh, and Danny Devito is in it — all 4 feet and 11 inches of him.

Featured photo courtesy of: Hollywood Reporter