Disclaimer: To each his own.
Growing up, I was one of those kids with pictures of Wall Street hanging all over my walls. I opened up an IRA when I was 14 (ambitious move, kid) and started my grind for the cash flow.
New York wasn’t just a dream; it was the period to my sentence. I truly didn’t believe I belonged anywhere in this world besides the big city with equal amounts of flashing lights, hotdog stands and endless opportunity at my disposal.
Well, I’ve been here almost two months now and my journey is coming to an end. I’m not working on Wall Street and I’m not rolling in the dough. I eat dollar pizza for lunch and have actually been affected by the fact that they just started taxing individual pizza slices, but such is life. So before you lay there in your bed thinking about how New York City is the place for you, I caution you to be wary of the world’s greatest illusion filled with rich investment bankers, a rampant homeless problem and more tourists than you could ever even begin to fathom.
Before I give a fair assessment of what it’s like for someone who’s from the south to move up to the Big Apple, I should lay out the list of comparable pros and cons.
Pro: The pizza is amazing. It’s like getting the perfect slice of pizza from Pizza by the Slice at three in the morning except 10 times better every single time.
Con: There is nothing nutritional about pizza. If you say, “but the sauce has tomatoes in it!” then you’re an idiot.
Pro: The sites and the history are awesome. Whether you’re in Time Square, at the Museum of Natural History, or just overlooking the Statue of Liberty, the entire experience is very humbling.
Con: You are never alone. You know those days when no one is at midtown? Or you’re the only one walking on campus late at night? Well, with eight million people in this city, someone is bound to have the same idea as you at the same exact time, so that moment of tranquility or that timely romantic gesture will usually be interrupted by the large group of Asians taking photos and smoking cigarettes. That isn’t racist; it’s just the truth.
Via: deviantart.net
Pro: Public transportation is readily available 24/7…
Con: Except for the most crucial times when the MTA decides to put all major lines down under construction. And the more construction, the more likely it is that you see a homeless person bathing him/herself in the subway. It’s actually much less rancid than you would imagine. Sometimes they smell kind of like pickles, if you’re into that kind of thing.
But look, this whole thing wasn’t supposed to sound elitist at all. It’s supposed to be a reality check, a sort of reminder that New York is more than just an image; it’s a physical location with an incredible amount of people living there. With that comes a lot of positives that are certainly blasted across all forms of media, but also, a lot of negatives. There’s no time to just hangout and relax on a beach; one, because the nearest beach is in New Jersey, and two, because there’s always something to be done. That’s why everyone folds his or her pizza and eats it on the go; everyone’s always moving, all the time.
Becoming desensitized to a homeless man begging for money on the street is also extremely concerning to me. If you stop and try to help, you look like a total n00b. What the hell kind of world is that?
These people probably haven’t eaten in days, let alone slept in a clean bed or under a real roof, but we just snuff them like they aren’t even people at all. If that isn’t the kind of lifestyle you’re trying to live, you’re better off just interning here, experiencing it for a couple months firsthand and hanging on to the street cred of having “lived in New York.” Because let’s face it, that’s what most people come here for anyway.
