If you’re one of those assholes who still believes global warming is one giant conspiracy, well, congrats on being an asshole…and probably a Republican.
While you’re too busy shining up your “Choose Life” license plate, scientific evidence is piling up, global climates are rising, the polar ice caps are melting and adorable polar bears are drowning.
Liberals, you are not off the hook either. Just because you’ve smoked weed out of an apple, worn a maxi skirt or Instagrammed a nature trail doesn’t mean you care about the environment.
If you’d prefer your children not to have to leave the house in a specially designed jumpsuit that allows their skin to withstand the heat and their lungs to withstand the air, it’s time to actually consider what can be done to help reduce your big, bad carbon footprint.
It’s noble to want to “Save the Earth” but if we’re being realistic, the earth will survive. It will just become inhospitable for life as we know it. Save yourselves, people.
Although the incredibly obvious solution to the billions of tons of CO2 we are belching into the atmosphere is to switch from fossil fuels to solar and wind power, many greedy douchebags in power find money more important than generations to come.
So, my friends, it is up to us. Every single one of us needs to start acknowledging this as a real problem and do what we can do solve it.
Every few weeks GainesvilleScene will give you some real ways you can help our Earth chill the fuck out. It’s your job to get at least one of these done before the next post so we can genuinely affect some change (and so Al Gore doesn’t have to come to your house to bitch slap you).
Don’t Be Such a Meathead
This may not make Ron Swanson very happy with you, but eating less meat will certainly put you on Earth’s good side. Current production levels of meat contribute 14 to 22 percent of the 36 billion tons of greenhouse gases the world produces each year. If you’re already a vegetarian, you save at least 3,000 pounds of CO2 per year compared to hardcore carnivores.
Via: article.wn.com
If you’re not ready to switch from juicy burgers to veggies and tofu, no worries… Just pick one or two days a week to go animal free.
Try Meatless Monday or Save-the-Animals Saturday. Mondays are shitty anyway, so you might as well eat a salad and call it a day. As for Saturdays, you’re probably too drunk to really care if your pizza has tempeh on it instead of pepperoni.
When done right, vegetarian recipes can be pretty damn good and there are a ton of veggie blogs to get you started in the kitchen (if you’re really feelin’ crazy, you can throw in some vegan meals as well). If you’re not the domestic type, hit up Daily Green or check out our nom-tastic guide to local salads.
Bonus: According to the ADA, less meat in your diet means a lower risk for developing:
- Heart disease
- Colorectal, ovarian, and breast cancers
- Diabetes
- Obesity
- Hypertension (high blood pressure)
Don’t Act so Trashy
The atmosphere doesn’t care whether you’ve got more notches in your belt than Ron Jeremy, but it does care about how much trash you produce. If we’re talking edible products alone, about one-quarter of all the food prepared annually in the U.S. gets tossed, which produces methane in landfills as well as carbon emissions from transporting wasted food.
Here’s your incredibly simple game plan for reducing your garbage:
1. Bring reusable bags and containers when shopping, traveling or packing lunches or leftovers. As a guy, if you bring those green reusable bags to Publix, you’re automatically more attractive and approachable. (Just don’t fill the bags with Natty Lite and beef jerky or the hotness is negated.)
2. Dunkaroos are so ’90s…grab a Tupperware and pack some carrots and hummus like a goddamn grown-up. Avoid individually wrapped items, snack packs and single-serve containers. Buy large containers of items or from bulk bins whenever you can.
3. COMPOSTEST FOR THE MOSTEST. At the simplest level, composting just means making a giant heap of wet organic matter (leaves and food waste) and waiting for it all to break down and decompose after a period of weeks or months. Over 60 percent of what we put in our landfills is organic waste that could be easily composted. Grab a roommate, a friend, a lover or a dog (actually you might need someone with opposable thumbs) and follow these simple steps on how to start composting.
Remember: It’s cool to get wasted, it’s lame to be wasteful.
Featured photo courtesy of: thomasnet.com
