The 2014 World Cup for Dummies

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This is a guest post from TampaBayScene’s Chris Ryan Davis

The 2014 World Cup, the world’s greatest sporting event, kicked off Thursday in São Paulo, Brazil with a monumental match between Brazil, this year’s host country, and Croatia, a small European country in the Mediterranean.

At kick-off, I felt like a kid at Christmastime, but instead of waiting to open presents, I was waiting to see adept passing, ballsy golazos, and frolicsome celebrations.

Words simply don’t do the World Cup justice. Just shut up, and watch somewhere. Do whatever you need to do to catch some games. Call off of work — your boss will understand. And if he or she doesn’t, then quit. You don’t need that kind of negativity and close-mindedness in your life anyway. This is an event that, like a leap year, comes only every four years, and it transcends your 9 to 5. Take it all in.

The World Cup comprises 32 teams representing their nations and trying to accomplish one goal (pun most definitely intended): win the Jules Rimet trophy and take home the title.

In case you’re blithely unaware, the World Cup is a big deal. In some countries, it’s a HUGE deal. Tears of both happiness and sadness stream from the eyes of even the burliest of fans. It transcends stereotypes, and emotions run high.

The Cup is the single largest sporting event on the planet, and it has a uniting force like nothing else. Every continent is brought together to do one thing: Play football.

*Cue “Represent” off of Nas’s “Ilmatic.” That song should be the theme song of every World Cup.

For the casual soccer fan all this excitement might seem unwarranted. I’m here to tell you that it’s not. If that’s your mindset, then, you just don’t know any better, plain and simple. It is, however, time to educate yourself. So this is where I come in.

Here are some things that you should know in order to properly revere the World Cup and soccer.

The sport’s proper name

Unless you live in the U.S. or Canada, it’s not “soccer” — it’s football. The players in this sport use their feet to kick a ball, hence the name. Makes sense, right? There’s no real need for you to go out of your way and call it football, but don’t be derisive toward those of us who choose to call a spade a spade.

The U.S. is not a favorite to win. So… who is?

The U.S. is rarely the favorite to win the Cup, unless we’re talking womens soccer. Not even our coach Jürgen Klinsmann thinks we have a real shot at winning, and he’s probably right. But that doesn’t mean you don’t still cheer on the U.S. Be supportive, will you? I’m asking that of you for multiple reasons, but particularly because truly anything is possible in a tournament like this. And to top it off, this year’s roster is arguably the most talented we’ve ever had.

No Landon Donovan

Arguably the greatest player in U.S. men’s soccer history didn’t make the cut, which must mean Clint Dempsey is the U.S.’s best player right? Nope! Michael Bradley, from Princeton, New Jersey, is the best player on our national team. Homie is just hitting his prime and is the key for the U.S. if they want to advance out of group play.

Speaking of groups…

There are eight of them. The U.S. is in Group G, dubbed the “Group of Death” with Ghana, Portugal and Germany. This is an unfortunate position for the U.S. to be in, I’m sorry to say. But it does make us a wild card, so things will definitely be interesting. Ghana has knocked the U.S. out of the Cup two consecutive times, Germany has arguably one of the best goalkeepers, Manuel Neuer, and Portugal has Cristiano Ronaldo. Germany is the favorite to win, but the U.S. is expected to put up a fight.

Popularity

Although American fans usually get a bad rap, soccer is the fastest growing sport in the US. More people are playing the game. Soccer attendance for the MLS (Major League Soccer) has surpassed hockey and basketball. Before you know it, soccer could be America’s new pastime, because fuck baseball, right?

The American Outlaws

The American outlaws are an unofficial supporters group for the U.S. men’s soccer team. ESPN describes them as a raucous group of U.S. supporters, so they’re basically on the same level as other countries’ fans. The Outlaws were founded by a group of fans from Nebraska. Keep an eye out for them, they are usually spotted wearing USA bandanas and are frequently accompanied by a marching band that consists of members dressed as popular hyper-American figures like Captain America and Rocky Balboa.

Winning teams

Spain is, like always is abnormally good, but it is unlikely they will again this year. There are a number of teams that are being considered favorites for the win. Brazil, with Neymar, and Argentina, with the legendary Lionel Messi, are always a threat. There’s Portugual with its Kevin Durant of the soccer world, Cristian Ronaldo. Germany is also up there, as I mentioned. Balotelli will put Italy on his back. There’s a number of teams that are talented enough to win it all this year. I’m no expert, but Belgium is my sleeper pick.

Basic Terminology

offside - Offside in soccer is not the same as offside in American football, and it’s offside not OFFSIDES, all right? Yes, it’s one of the most confusing rules in all of sports, but it’s needed. It’s when a player is past the last defender on the opposing team, and the ball is played to him. Think of it as no cherry picking.

Advantage Rule: The ref doesn’t have to stop a play every time a foul happens. If the offending team gains possession then he will, but sometimes calling a foul would be penalizing the innocent team.

box - essentially the penalty area. Sometimes it’s called the 18-yard box, to distinguish it from the goal area, which is the 6-yard box.

pitch - English word for a sports field, a term you might want to know if you plan on watching matches on ESPN.

Group of Death - It’s exactly what it sounds like. The World Cup is a multi-stage tournament, and the group of death is a term that’s used to describe a group where the number of strong competitors in the group is greater than the number of qualifying places available for the next round of the tournament. In a group of death, one or more strong competitors will be eliminated, because of the unfortunate quality in the group. It won’t be  impossible for the U.S. to advance from group stage, but they will have to be on their A game.

Managers

It’s not uncommon to see a manager or coach of a different nationality coaching a national team. In fact, out of the 32 managers, 15 are managing a nation that they aren’t from. U.S. coach Klinsmann is of German origin.

Location Frustration

Not all of Brazil is happy about hosting the World Cup, and with good reason too. Many Brazilians are protesting because they don’t believe Brazil has the proper infrastructure to host such a massive event. Nearly 16 percent of the country lives below the poverty line, and most Brazilians believe government funds would be best directed toward the improvement of education, transportation, etc. The Brazilian government has spent an estimated $14 billion to build the necessary structures for the Cup — an exorbitant amount for any country, but even more so for a developing nation dealing with a slowing economy, a massive wealth gap and a number of societal issues. In a recent poll, 61 percent of Brazilians said that hosting the World Cup was not good for the economy. To make matters worse, Rio De Janeiro is hosting the 2016 Olympics.

There are various ins and outs to celebrating a major sports event such as this one, but when it comes down to it, the most important part is the passion that every person involved puts into the game. If nothing else, the World Cup unites entire countries, in spite of respective differences within state lines. It’s an amazing thing to witness. Soccer truly is the beautiful game.

 

 

Featured photo courtesy of: parade.condenast.com