Your Weekend Getaway Guide: St. Augustine

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Let’s be honest, you’ve probably got the textbook depiction of St. Augustine down pat. It’s damn old, teaming with tourist traps, and was founded by one incredibly short and murderous Spaniard. But the beauty of this nearby gem is so much more than its Jeopardy-quiz history. It’s bordered by beaches, brimming with cool venues and is home to some of NoFla’s best nightlife.

Being relatively easy on the wallet and only an hour and a half from Gainesville, there’s really no excuse not to grab a few friends and hit the road after that 3 pm Friday lab you’ve regretted since registration. You’ll be steady sipping a cold Corona and lime in no time.

Expected time of arrival: Friday, 6 p.m.

Preliminary Dinner

Gypsy Cab Co.

Price Range: $12-$30

Start things off with dinner and cocktails at Gypsy Cab Co. The eclectic joint is locally renowned for its urban cuisine, laidback atmosphere and dank happy hour. The restaurant boasts inside and outside seating and luxuries like live music and kick-ass service. I’d splurge an Andrew Jackson on their Salmon & Scallop Provencale. It’s downright orgasmic and just what you’re body needs to sustain the rum and cokes in your near future. Oh and if you have room, or even have to squeeze a little for the Peanut Butter Pie, get ready to experience true euphoria.

Drunk fun

Cab it, or hoof it. You fat ass.

The Standard

Price range: probably way too much

Do yourself a favor. Stay on the beachside of the Bridge of Lions and do it up at The Standard, the Swiss army knife of drinking establishments. The spacious, neon-lit venue functions as a fully stocked bar, local music venue and late night dance destination, truly offering something for everyone. I’m usually pretty skeptical of the club scene, as I have yet to master the art of dance and prefer the intimate bar setting to head pounding “unz” nayday. However, The Standard is the perfect blend of bass-filled yin and beer-sipping yang. Be sure to check out the website for nightly specials and exclusive concert ops. If you plan on attending a show, get your tickets ahead of time or plan on throwing down about $10 at the door. It’s open till 2, usually harbors a college-age crowd and is definitely a good time.

Late-night Nosh

The Kangaroo 

It’s across the street and let’s face it. It’s good enough.

Price range: your dignity

Don’t run the risk of a DUI at 2:45 am, or any time for that matter. Find your pleather fucking clutch that you flung on the bar, scrub that cranberry vodka stain a little harder, squeeze in one last BOMO and pull it together, you idiot. Then walk across Anastasia Boulevard, shovel a six stale taquitos and a Wild Berry Pop-Tart into your teenage wasteland of a body and proceed to pass out on whoever’s couch your bumming off as the sloshing of your stomach lulls you rapidly into a coma.

Morning Grind

Schmagel’s

Price range: $5-$10

It’s quick. It’s good. It’s got breakfast sammies and Lox out the whaz.

Suns Out, Buns Out

Down a Zico, hate yourself for a little and then put on your Bombshell halter from Victorias’s Secret to distract from your fat rolls. Slather on SPF 50. Don’t look back.

Vilano’s Beach

This white sand haven is just a stumble from downtown St. Aug and is the perfect setting to nurse your hangover. There are plenty of recreational vendors selling everything from parasailing to waterfront nosh. Start your day with some Vitamin D and let the ocean be your medication.

Culture Shock

St. George Street

Once you get a little color, pack up and head to downtown St. George Street. It’s famous, and with good reason. This quaint yet bustling strip offers a playground of dank eats, shopping, and rich history. The architecture in these parts is pretty sick, boasting Spanish-style cathedrals, cobblestone streets, and the red-roofed Flagler College. It’s pretty damn touristy, but definitely worth a wander. Then hop across the street, bi-pass the horse and buggies, and climb Castillo De San Marcos. It’s right on Matanzas Bay and truly does showcase the old Florida vibe of the city. Again, try not to photobomb the Asian family’s Christmas card picture, as it’s a renowned tourist destination. Read a couple of plaques, snap some pics, select whichever filter makes you feel least alone, and carry on. For real though, its pretty cool to explore a 17^th Century fort that contributed toward the founding of our country. Go America.

Saturday Night

Jp Henley’s

Price range: $5-$15

Located downtown, it’s the perfect place to grab a couple of brewskis and feast on a Crab Stuffed Mushroom app to get the ball rolling. The local joint showcases seventy beers on tap, a worldwide selection of bottled beers and over twenty varieties of wine.  It’s regionally renowned and congruent of a European-style pub, offering great variety and prices.

White Lion

Next, head down Cuna Street towards White Lion. Go with the Huckleberry Lemonade.

Acapulco

It’s right across from Castillo De San Marcos, so feel free to take in the late-night view. They have killer drink deals starting at 9 pm and serve authentic Mexican cuisine until 11 pm if you just can’t stomach another margarita without some queso and pico in your system. It’s a solid place to finish your night, especially if you plan on making it to Conch House the next day. Which you absolutely should.

Sunday rally

Reggae Sunday at Conch House

Price range: whatever you have left

Keep the Sabbath holy, mon. This is by far the most popular Sunday event amongst the Flagler crowd, and with good reason. Prior to your departure Sunday night, get nice and loose with some live Reggae and a few mojitos. The band plays dockside, boats of drunk, white-haired dads and sea-savvy bros pull in and out of the harbor and fun is absolutely had by all.

 

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