If you had the fortuitous opportunity to catch a peak of the latest and most controversial edition to the I’m Shmacked college tour, (video at the bottom) then you’ve probably read countless reactions to the video on your newsfeed. Everyone at UF posted the video saying something like “thank god I don’t go here” or “so glad im classy” or some other bullshit. Your FSU friends made long statuses saying how embarrassed they were about all the awful (hilarious) things that were said on camera. It was a shit storm. And everyone on that video is pretty lucky that it was deleted (again, video at the bottom). Except for the guy that just wants to dance.
“Whoever’s trying to dance. I’m about dancing, you know. Like, if you think about it, like, I’m just trying to dance.”
Even if you were just quoting Dane Cook, I feel you son.
The bottom line is this: If “I’m Shmacked,” or any stupid kid with a video camera went to a huge college campus dominated by Greeks, you would have gotten a similar video. Sure, Florida State has this unspoken mantra of unsafe sex and interracial gang bangs (not that I’ve ever seen or been a part of any of that) but you’d be crazy to think that the same question asked at the University of Florida wouldn’t draw similar results (not bragging, just saying). You have a bunch of drunk, horny kids with a video camera pointed at them (at that point you could literally make me do anything).
If you’re a student at FSU that was offended by the video, or just any person who found the video to be totally distasteful, then be mad at the losers from “I’m Shmacked.” You can’t deny that their content is pretty tight, and it is obviously a great idea, but if you haven’t gotten the painful opportunity of meeting some of these kids, I can tell you that they’re absolute chodes. They’re probably a bunch of kids that took a handheld camera to the bar to record their first time getting drunk and then realized that if you pointed it at a group of blonde girls, one of them might show their titties.
But it was a great idea, right?
Go to a school where chlamydia is practically airborne and ask a bunch of drunk girls surrounded by frat stars if they like nice guys or assholes. Yeah, it’s a great idea, but it’s also really fucked up. I’m sure they obviously edited the video tremendously and only left the really bad stuff in there, but like, who wants to listen to a girl explain how she fell in love freshman year and couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend? I know I don’t. But really, if you go to FSU and you were ashamed or embarrassed by this video, well, you should be, but it’s not your fault.
If you were actually in the video and said some some shit like:
“Dear Nice guys. Fuck you.”
“Treat ‘em like dirt, they’ll stick to you like mud.”
“Fuck girlfriends. Fuck everything, okay? If you’re a nice guy, you’re fucked. It’s all about being an asshole, okay? Assholes love sluts.
….then you’re really making things hard for yourself.
I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m not saying I’m not an asshole. I’m not saying that almost all the guys I know who have had sex with 50+ girls aren’t assholes. But don’t spew about your philosophy on camera, man. Tight, you read “The Game” by Neil Strauss and want to spread some of your perspective knowledge on how to get laid, but if you haven’t learned about the power of silence, you haven’t learned shit. Just another case of how opening your mouth gets you in to trouble, dawg.
It is possible to not be “the nice guy” and also not be an asshole. You don’t have to treat a girl like shit to get laid. You don’t have to embarrass her in front of her friends because it shows them that you don’t care and that you’re the man, or whatever. If you do, you must actually have zero game. Maybe you’re not interested in finding someone you actually want to be with, I know most of us aren’t right now, but you can’t expect to attract a decent chick when the first thing you say to her is “What’s the difference between jelly and jam?…I can’t jelly my way into your ass.”
A ton of girls have these twisted ideas of what they want from guys. They want a guy who will hold the door for them, but slap their ass on the way out (she said it, not me). We act like assholes, and you respond to it. You love it and you know it because if a guy is too nice then it comes off as creepy, or that he’s trying too hard.
We act this way because you demand it, and if you hate it, then only you can change it.
Photo courtesy of: SwaggerNewYork
