“Super Size Me”
“Bowling For Columbine”
“One Direction: This Is Us” (No it’s not)
“Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” (Never)
These are some of the films that come to mind when we hear the word “documentary”. The documentary film genre isn’t really appealing to a lot of people our age; we think we’ll either be rolling our eyes, or wiping them, and no guy wants to be seen crying in front of his “boo boo baby bear yummy cutie other half 4 lyfe” unless it’s because we just saw “G Baby” get shot in “Hardball”. (If you didn’t cry when that shit happened then I hope you have several daughters that join an FSU sorority and are advertising majors.)
Via: barstoolu.barstoolsports.com
Quick detour
I’ll get back to the documentaries, but while we’re here lets discuss appropriate movie moments for which it’s been deemed acceptable, by me, to cry. And by cry I don’t mean like Natalie Portman in Garden State, I mean like Daniel Plainview in “There Will Be Blood”.
•When Dobby dies in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows”
•When anything bad happens to Boobie Miles in “Friday Night Lights”
•”Dad? Dad come on, you gotta get up” – “The Lion King”
•In “The Devil Wears Prada” when Anne Hathaway forgets it’s Vincent Chases’ birthday and comes home super late with this pathetic cupcake ‘cause she was being a little slut.
•When Little Foot’s mother dies in “The Land Before Time”
•The last 5 minutes of “Toy Story 3″ when Andy goes to college (If you were born in 1992 you especially feel me)
•The ending of “Schindler’s List”
•Anytime someone gets naked in HBO’s “Girls” or “Game of Thrones”. #dragonnipples
Plenty more, but none of this “Titanic”, “The Notebook”, “Marley & Me” or “A Walk To Remember” nonsense.
Now back to the subject. You don’t have to appreciate film making to enjoy a documentary. Sure, a lot of these films show raw emotion, whether it’s spontaneous rage or excitement, or improvised humor. While all documentaries are edited in some way, the thrill is provided by the discoveries that take place along the journey. Typically, the director will have a concrete purpose, but as for the script, there is none.
If you hate reading, documentaries should become your lifeline. They’re informative, usually pretty short, and somebody, almost all the time, genuinely injures themselves.
We’ve all been on Rotten Tomatoes and see all these recent films getting 95%+ and we’re like, “da fook is this?”. You see the word “documentary” and are like “naaah” and decide to take your chances with “Fast & Furious 6″ or “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”. Don’t do that, and trust the critics.
I’ll give you a short list to get your documentary feet wet, and if you hate them, you can comment on this post since it brings me more notoriety and is ultimately better for our website as a whole. I’ll comment back with something along the lines of “haha, gotcha bitch”.
But really, give a few of these a chance. No mass genocides, I promise. Just light stuff for now.
“Undefeated”: Gripping story of an underdog high school football team and their inspiring head coach.
“Inside Job”: Everything you need to know and didn’t want to know about the 2008 Global Financial Crisis. Matt Damon narrates it: Money
“Stories We Tell”: An exploration of how and why we tell stories. Amazing.
“Man on Wire”: Dude walked across the world trade center on a tight rope.
“Hearts of Darkness: A Film Makers Apocalypse”: Documentary on Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather) and the production of the 1979 film “Apocalypse Now”.
“We were in the jungle, there were too many of us, we had access to too much money, too much equipment, and little by little we went insane”
“Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room”: You should have seen this by now.
“Tupac Resurrection”: Can’t go wrong. We all know P Diddy did it.
If you’re ready for some messed up content try:
“Dear Zachary”
“Taxi To The Dark Side”
“The Cove”
“The Act of Killing”
Via: primomag.com
People are always going to have their own opinions on political documentaries; hundreds of people will tell you Michael Moore stuff is all bologna, or that Morgan Spurlock only gained so much weight because he’s a ginger. We can all agree that we aren’t big on watching the news, and the Yahoo! thumbnails sometimes take too long to load. Yes, many documentaries are painful to watch and will make you angry at the injustices of the world, but nonetheless, are filled with information we all need to be exposed to.
Trust the critics, and if it’s under an hour and a half, crank it out real quick. It won’t be a waste of time and you’ll have something really thought provoking to bring up at the bar.
Fuck you Bieber.
Photo courtesy of: HotDoc.ca
