As the age old rivalry tells, these two schools have been battling on the gridiron since November 22nd, 1958 when the University of Florida defeated Florida State University 21-7. Since then, literally every aspect of both schools have been compared and put to the test in a constant struggle to find out which school is “better.” I visited FSU this weekend and here are just a few of the things that I noticed:
The Girls
Via: gatortailgating.com
Sorry Gators, we lose. The girls at FSU are in a league of their own. Not only do they all look like Tara Reid, but they act like her too. Let’s put it this way: Would you rather be at the zoo looking at a herd of elephants or at the firework show at Magic Kingdom? These girls are all 10’s and they know it. Kudos.
The Guys
Okay, rough start… FSU – 2 UF – 0. These guys are all fucking studs. I’d like to think that I’m at least a semi-good looking person, but man oh ma,n talk about DE-masculinization. If your arms aren’t bigger than the base of a oak tree, your facial hair doesn’t look like it’s 5 o’clock shadow has a 5 o’clock shadow and your overall appearance doesn’t rival Bradley Cooper’s, turn around and go home now because you’ll never have a shot with anyone, and I mean anyone. Oh yeah, and if you think you have a better personality then them, think again. Right when I thought I had a shot, these guys are the nicest and funniest dudes around. Rush PIKE or be a nobody. Case and point.
The Great Outdoors
Lake Wauberg vs. The Rez - Both schools have some outdoor sporting ranges for the kids who feel like going outside on a nice Florida afternoon. In this category, UF makes FSU look like the fat kid in your kindergarten class who would eat all your white shark gummies: an asshole. Lake Wauberg has much nicer amenities, including a wooded Frisbee golf course, FREE rentals open to anyone that comes into a car of 4 people showing at least 1 form of ID and multiple challenge courses as well as a much nicer kept fielding area. FSU charges non-students $2 for entry and $10 to rent equipment. Eff that.
We win. Via: residency.medicine.ufl.edu
Housing
Off campus housing at FSU is horrid. Never being able to tell whether you’re on campus or in the local barbershop’s backyard is both confusing and alarming. Being a 10 minute DRIVE from campus and being okay with it is not something I look for in a college town. At UF, you either live in one of two places: Behind midtown (easy walk home from the bars) or behind sorority row (awesome for obvious reasons). UF takes the cake.
Bars/Clubs
If you’ve ever stood up for UF when it comes to our bar/club scene, sit your ass back down because you don’t know what you’re talking about. One band – five bars, ‘nuff said. FSU has got it down to a science, a Friday night at the strip would be equivalent to us winning a National Championship. As much as I love a good night at Salty, it’s a little different when we have old men behind our bar and they have all their best friends wheeling and dealing free drinks just because. And if you don’t know the male bartender, you probably know the really hot female bartender’s boyfriend, so don’t worry, you’ll still get free drinks just because.
The Eats
This is a tough one. At FSU, being able to walk to Momo’s and get a slice of pizza the size of your face is not really comparable to anything. Or going to Los Compadres for $4 Margaritas and fire burritos for dirt-cheap is kind of awesome. But I hold the 352 eateries very near and dear to my heart. For me, nothing beats a night at Bella Donna’s or sharing a pie at Leonardo’s with my best friends. Nabbing Relish after stumbling out of Frat Daddy’s or the perfectly and strategically placed Chipotle where you’re destined to run into 3 or more people you really didn’t want to see from the night before. Obviously I’m being facetious, but overall, UF takes the cake for food. If you don’t believe me, go to Marks, Dragonfly, or The Gelato Company, then we’ll have this conversation again.
Academics
This age old debate is solved with one simple question: When you go to a job interview and they look at your résumé, would you rather have them look at a completed degree from the University of Florida or Florida State University? If you said the latter, you’re in denial. #15 Business School, #6 Real Estate School, #8 Accounting, #3 Biological Engineering, #6 Special Education, #3 Tax Law, and #4 best online graduate business program in the NATION.
There are a lot of factors contributing to what makes a school “better,” but at the end of the day…who cares? Go where you want and enjoy where you are. Both schools have a lot to offer and produce a lot of amazing people. Do you. Go Gators.
Featured photo courtesy of: bleacherreport.com
