From time to time, we all crave something sweet. Don’t be ashamed of your sweet tooth; embrace it like Snoop Dogg.
“When I’m no longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.”
GainesvilleScene has the inside scoop, pun always intended, on the best sweet spots in town. So whether you’re the type to Instagram a trendy cupcake with the gals or get stoned and eat your body weight in cookies, we have what you need.
Gyt’s pick – Mochi
For guys, reasons to go to Mochi are few and far between.
1. You’re higher than Felix Baumgartner and you feel like sculpting mountains of yogurt covered in strawberries, chocolate chips, gummi bears and every other topping known to mankind to consume in a most voracious manner with no regard for human life.
2. Girls.
While the first reason is hilarious and admirable but probably a little regrettable after the fact, the second reason is quite complicated and, in itself, can contain a wide variety of motives.
Picture this: You’re a freshman during Summer B and you just met a girl the night before and you think she’s into you. She tells you to meet her at Mochi the next day to hang out. Is it a date? You think so, so you get all nice and dressed up only to find her in pajama pants waiting for you. Before you can even say hello, she goes off on a rant, “OMG I love this place. Froyo is so great and it’s even good for you! Nom, nom, nom, nom. I get a pound of it every time I come here. Sorry I’m not sorry.”
What the hell does that even mean? Either way, you still think it’s a date and head inside. There are tons of guys with girls in pajama pants in here, and they all have the same dissatisfied expression on their faces.
“This isn’t a date, this a trap,” you think to yourself. After the girl tells you she’s had the same boyfriend for 5 years, 7 of her friends come through the door and start chanting, “Nom, nom, nom, nom.”
Your head is spinning; you start to sweat. “What are they saying!?”
You wake up. It was just a nightmare.
Stick to reason #1, guys.
Emma’s pick – The Hyppo
It may sound cliche, but nothing beats an icy, fruity popsicle on a hot Florida day…unless of course that icy, fruity pop was mixed with some crazy, awesome herbs and spices to create wildly delicious flavors.
The Hyppo, nestled in downtown Gainesville across from Dragonfly, makes homemade gourmet pops from fresh fruit and natural ingredients. From Strawberry Basil to Mexican Hot Chocolate to Avocado Cream, The Hyppo has a flavor for any palate. The shop is quaint and colorful and the staff is more than happy to help you with the daunting task of settling on a popsicle flavor. $3.50 a pop might seem a little steep but you’re supporting a small business and you’re guaranteed to have nothing but the freshest goods in your frozen treat.
Morgan’s pick – Sweet Dreams
I try to avoid the froyo bandwagon. Personally, I’d rather splurge on something decadent than mask the cardboard taste of Mochi with Reeses and sprinkles. Call me Big Mama. Call me Fat Amy. Call me whatever you want. Ice cream is my dessert of choice and I refuse to half-ass it even if “taro” somehow cures cancer. You go ahead and sit amongst that plastic, Hello Kitty-inspired ambiance trying to tell yourself that all five flavors of that industrial sludge don’t ALL TASTE EXACTLY THE SAME. Imma go to Sweet Dreams.
I have adventurous taste buds. Enter the X-Games of frozen custards.
Mom-and-pop feel? Check.
Unorthodox third-grade art projects lining the walls? Also check.
Dankest thirty flavors to grace the bounds of Alachua? Check, furthermore.
Sweet Dreams has it all. With flavors ranging from the boozy Mojito to Cosmic chocolate Bacon Brittle with Peanut Butter Fluff, over 30 homemade flavors are there to please anyone from the tame taster to the Johnny Knoxville of dining.
I suggest going for something a little on the obscure side. If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space. Some of my favorites include the Chocolate Honey Blueberry Wine, Green Tea Jasmine, Lavender Blueberry Honey and Salty Caramel. Sucker for the classics? The Mayan Chocolate is legen – wait for it and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is – DAIRY. And go chocolate-dipped cone or go home.
Matt’s pick – Midnight Cookies
Look, if you want to talk about the “American Dream” coming to fruition, then you can’t even begin to construct that argument without mentioning the fact that yes, we have in fact, done it. We have gotten so lazy that we can slump in the comfort of our own beds while we watch repeats of Hey Arnold on Netflix reminiscing about when we were five years old and order a SHIT ton of a decorative cookies. If that isn’t America, then I don’t quite know what is.
Via: insitegainesville.com
This place is pretty legit, but since it is really in BFE, let’s just stick to the delivery & their wildly convenient hours for which most of us are philosophizing about the stars or belligerently wasted trying to scrounge up enough quarters to purchase 2 cookies.
And while I’m at it, (and sober, mind you) my recommendations are as follows:
* Snicker Doodle – Tastes just like when your friend’s mom makes them.
* Cookies ‘n’ Cream – You’re lying to yourself if you don’t like Cookies ‘n’ Cream anything
* Chocolate Cookie Crunch (Vegan) – They’ve done it. Vegan Cookies; they’re a real thing. And they’re not shitty, I swear.
* Lucky Charms – Under the right circumstances…flavor EXPLOSION.
Proceed with caution because cookies are delicacies in America…you know, like in Italy, “Stracotto d’asino” which is a DONKEY stew. Man, are we cultured or what? Go red, white and blue.
Erin’s pick – Dolce Vita
The cronut, America’s seraphic fusion of croissant styled doughnuts, has found its way into the south and unto the loving arms of local European bakery ‘Dolce Vita’. Although Rose Mercado and her daughter Jennifer have been distributing cronuts since the summer of 2013, my own experiential pastry-filled splurges haven’t led me to their shop until very recently. This can be considered both a blessing and a curse; Dolce Vita is definitely one of the best bakeries in town, and I found myself spending more money that I actually had just to get another flakey, beautifully buttery bite from their display case. One of the definite highlights of the restaurant (besides the intimate size and kind employees) was the fact that their cronut shtick wasn’t their only defining feature. Everything there is delicious (their pistachio muffin is to die for.) Dolce Vita is definitely the go-to haven for every sweet toothed Gainesvillian.
Jake’s pick – SweetBerries Eatery & Frozen Custard
It’s places like these that are in desperate need of a cracked out ACR who stands on the corner flipping a sign around like it’s a goddamn Rubik’s Cube. Or maybe just a halfway decent slogan visible to passerby’s letting them know what service they even perform.
SweetBerries, located on 13th street is an appropriate and affordable place to treat your bitch. If she’s not face-y enough for Mochi, but has proven she is worthy of a drive thru Mcflurry upgrade, Sweetberries is your winner. Wait, that’s it.
“Because she’s not hot enough for Mochi, but still deserves some fresh air”
-Leonard Sweetberry (2006)
The frozen custard offers a unique alternative to your average, over sweetened ice cream. It’s got a smooth texture that was best described to me by a former employee. “It’s like, if ice cream and sorbet were to have a daughter, and she married some Italian Gelato who slapped her around a little bit on the weekends, you’d end up with this delicious creamy custard.” He later mentioned that the employee of the month wall in the back of the store is “total bullshit.”
Each day there is one special custard provided, along with chocolate and vanilla served around the clock.
***Save yourself some money and buy a few of their pints at $4 each, instead of the $50 a week you’re spending on Ben and Jerry’s “I just blue myself” blueberry flavored ice cream.
Daniel’s pick – The Gelato Company
It’s easy to miss this hole-in-the-wall walking around downtown. The green façade consists only of a single door, a couple of metal tables outside and a small black sign that simply reads “The Gelato Company.” After you walk past the long, narrow stretch of the obnoxiously tall counter, you see the bright lights shining from the beautiful gelato case filled with 10 to 15 flavors made in-house.
Via: gainesville.campusbuzz.net
Flavors range from classic chocolate and vanilla to more novelty flavors like s’mores and chai tea. Flavors change every day, sometimes every few hours, so you’re sure to find new flavors every time you go. Don’t be shy to ask for samples, you’re going to want to try everything in the case, and they know that before you walk in. After you finally decide what flavor to get–twenty sample spoons, a call to your parents for help and a a coin-toss later– you won’t be disappointed. And don’t be fooled by the sizes on the counter, they don’t just fill the cup, but keep piling it on way above the rim.
The convenient downtown location makes the Gelato Company a perfect end to a date night, and with hours until 3 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, it’s a more high-brow way to satisfy those late-night cravings after the club before you get home. The Gelato Company also has a large menu of fresh salads, crêpes, sandwiches and paninis, but the real star of the show is the restaurant’s namesake. Look for the green façade and treat yourself to the best ice cream in Gainesville.
Luke’s pick – Karma Cream
Nestled in between midtown and downtown is the wonderful Karma Cream. Locally owned and operated, Karma cream serves some of the best ice cream I’ve had in Gainesville.
I don’t usually go for vegan cuisine considering my mom is vegan and tofu has been stuffed down my throat for quite some time now, but Karma Cream always manages to change my feelings. I might be tempted to say I like their vegan iced desserts better than their dairy. They do something special with them. I can’t quite say what.
If ice cream isn’t your cup of tea, you could always get a cup of tea. Their chai is something to die for. If tea isn’t your cup of tea, I’d recommend a cup of iced coffee.
Let me warn you in advance, those dark ice cubes inside are nothing to fear. They’re coffee. That’s right, they put coffee ice cubes in their iced coffee. You finish your main treat and then get a second treat when you’re done. Its like Christmas morning with a set of divorced parents. Mommy gets you an Xbox and an Ipad, and Daddy shows up drunk at 4 PM with a Tonka trunk. Woo! I’ll take it.
Last but not least, Karma Cream offers a wide variety of baked goods. I can’t give you any recommendations because every time I’ve been they’ve had a different selection to soothe your soul. Whether it’s a brownie or a chocolate chip cookie dough cupcake, you’re in for something special. Try Karma Cream today and ditch that bad Karma you’ve been carrying since that accidental one night stand with that girl you didn’t realize was your cousin. You’ll be glad you did!
